AITA for not agreeing to sit and watch an entire TV show with my daughter as a “bonding” thing?

A mother is faced with a dilemma after her daughter, Jessica, moves back home following a breakup. Jessica, an avid TV watcher, proposes that they bond by watching her favorite show, Gilmore Girls, which the mother finds unappealing due to its constant arguments and entitled characters.

Despite her willingness to watch movies together, Jessica insists on the TV show, leading to hurt feelings when the mother declines. She struggles with the decision, feeling that investing time in a show she dislikes would be wasteful. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for not agreeing to sit and watch an entire TV show with my daughter as a “bonding” thing?’

My 28 year old daughter Jessica moved back in with me and her father (my husband) 6 months ago. She split with her live-in girlfriend and will save up at home. The one big difference she and I have always had is that she LOVES watching TV. She is always watching something or as she says “doing a rewatch” and all of that.

I never really got into TV. Jessica started “doing a rewatch” of a show she must have seen a dozen times, Gilmore Girls. It is a show about a very e**itled and bratty mother and daughter who constantly yell and scream at each other and everyone around them.

Over the years while she has watched it, I’ve seen enough to know that I just do not like it. I think the show relies on the viewer to find the yelling matches endearing or the “quirky” cast of side characters to be charming. It’s just not for me. I could explain more about what I don’t like but I don’t think anyone wants that.

But Jessica asked me if we could do this one together because it would be a great mother/daughter bonding time. I asked her how we would be bonding by sitting down and watching the TV and she said it would just be the experience.

I told her that I’m sorry, but I just genuinely dislike the show AND that I am not interested in watching hours and hours of TV to begin with. I told her that I would be happy to watch a movie with her every week. She didn’t want to do that.

And now I’ve hurt her feelings and she’s angry with me because I won’t sit and watch a TV show I dislike with her. I don’t like to hurt her feelings, but I also cannot imagine how much time I’d be wasting just sitting there watching a show about overly privileged people screaming at each other. AITA?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

arsenal_kate −  NAH. You’re allowed to not like the show, but have you suggested any alternate activities to do together? Your daughter was reaching out for connection, and hoping that a show that is about the strong bond between a mother and daughter would be good for relating to her own mother.

And you basically shat all over her offer. My guess is there’s a reason she enjoys the fantasy of a strong mother-daughter relationship in Gilmore Girls.

balarie50 −  You know this isn’t really about the tv show, right? I once watched 3 seasons of a show I detested simply because my early twenties son asked me to. It was about him wanting to spend quiet time with Mom sharing something he was interested in with me.

We watched, we talked, we made fun of goofy plot lines, we laughed . I still hate the show but I wouldn’t trade that time with him for the world.

Venusflytrapdinner −  Nobody going to? Okay, YTA. Your adult daughter is simply trying to find a way to share what is bringing her joy in her hard time with you but you refuse because you “don’t like the show”. Mildly s**fish imo, I say s**k it up and give your child the bonding time she needs.

If at almost 30 you two still NEED to bond, I would jump at any occasion to

StAlvis −  INFO. I could explain more about what I don’t like but I don’t think anyone wants that.. PLEASE, go on:

True_Turnover_7578 −  NTA but 1. Gilmore Girls is not about yelling at eachother all the time. Like at all. Not sure where you’re getting that from. And 2, why didn’t she want to watch movies with you? Is there something you both like to do or are interested in that you could have given as an alternative?

tfelsemanresuoN −  Light YTA if you consider spending time with your daughter “time I’d be wasting just sitting there watching a show.” I’m not a Gilmore Girls fan, but my wife loves it. I bought her the entire box set and watched it all with her. I survived. You would too. There are parts of the show that are enjoyable. Lorelei’s mom is pretty funny.

Firm-Molasses-4913 −  My husband and I also my sister and I will watch a show together. It is a fun activity to do when you’re both enthusiastic about the show. Since you’re willing to watch a movie weekly see if there’s another show all together that you two can watch.

Tell her the genres you like and ask her if anything therein is interesting to her. Tell her your compromise is bonding over a different show just not Gilmore Girls. Try to keep the dripping disdain out of your voice and meet her in the middle 

ArtisticWolverine −  Ha ha. I was a 50 year old man when I lost my job. My youngest son was in high school. We would watch GGs when he got home from school. He liked Rory and I liked Lorelei.

My wife would get home from work and see us watching and would just roll her eyes at us. She still teases us about it. Now she’s retired and watches reruns of GGs.

saintandvillian −  NTA. People in the comments are making some wild assumptions about OP’s relationship with her daughter and about OP’s unwillingness to bond with her daughter despite OP saying that she would be fine watching something else.

Comments are also wild because if the daughter was really so miserable, I doubt she would have moved home or suggested more bonding activities with her mom. Also, the very fact that OP is willing to question her decision suggests that she’s not a heartless mom.

That said, I understand that the daughter suffered a breakup and is feeling vulnerable but asking her mom, who she knows doesn’t like tv, to commit to watching hundreds of hours of tv to bond is m**ipulative and spoiled. If she really wanted to bond with her mom, she’d find something they both could enjoy or suggest therapy.

Is the mother right to prioritize her preferences over spending time with her daughter, or should she have made the effort for the sake of their relationship? What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!