AITA for not letting my 11 and 13 yo daughters fly on a private plane?

A Redditor is struggling with her husband over a potential birthday adventure for their daughters, aged 11 and 13. Her brother and brother-in-law, who owns a small private plane, offered to fly the girls to Alpine, WY, for a fun day trip.

While the husband is all for it, insisting the plane is safe due to her brother-in-law’s extensive piloting experience, the user is firmly against it. Her concern over the small size of the plane and the risks involved led to an argument with her husband. Is she wrong for being protective? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for not letting my 11 and 13 yo daughters fly on a private plane?’

My youngest daughter recently had her birthday and turned 11 years old. As a birthday gift my brother and his partner wanted to fly the girls to Alpine, WY, for hiking and to play in the river. They own their own small plane, my brother’s husband was a marine pilot and flying is now his hobby.

The trip is a little less than an hour by plane, so this would be a day trip for them. The problem is I just don’t trust this plane… it’s so small, only 5 people fit in it and that includes the pilot. That means either myself or my husband could go and my husband has been trying to persuade me since he LOVES planes and he’s telling me how safe it is.

I think he just wants to go as a treat to himself, and he told me I just don’t want to let them go because I’m controlling. We got into an argument over it and he’s very upset that I won’t even consider it. Does that make me an a**hole, to be worried about this? Edit to add the girls have no idea this was offered.

My brother and BIL brought the idea up with me and my husband, and I immediately told them *absolutely* not. I honestly do not care how much training he has, there’s not enough training where I’d trust to let my girls get off the ground in that plane.

Besides, the girls have asked to go up before and I’ve always said no, so I don’t know why my BIL would think now would be different? At least though they didn’t go behind my back and promise this to the girls first.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

spoiledrichwhitegirl −  spectacular north capable tap wise grab jobless squash fade yam *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Always_travelin −  YTA. You’re not TA to be worried, but to deny them the trip based on your fear is your problem, not the girls. “There’s not enough training where I’d trust to let my girls get off the ground in that plane”… does that mean you’re the type to immediately refuse to let them board a commercial airliner if you don’t like the look of the plane, or the pilot? Or won’t let them get into a taxi if the car model doesn’t meet with your approval? This is just controlling behavior under the guise of safety.

mcdulph −  NTA. I’d call this a “two yes, one no” parenting issue. Objectively, the chance of an accident is low–but it’s a lot higher for private as compared to commercial flights. A former boss of mine once mentioned that he would have liked to fly us to a meeting in another state on his private aircraft. My gut reaction was “not just no, but hell no.”

Fortunately, he told me this AFTER that meeting, so I didn’t actually have to refuse. Three guesses as to how my former boss died, just a few years later–and your first two guesses don’t count. (And by the way, he was retired military with many hours.) If the girls want to fly in a private plane when they’re 18, they can.

burrderer −  NTA. Private aviation is a different ballgame, and even with your BIL’s experience, it’s ok to be overcautious. All these comments about the great deprivation to your kids are being rather hyperbolic. AFAIK most people manage to survive not having taken a plane ride in a tiny craft at age 11. Plenty of time for this once they’re older and can decide on it for themselves.

Subject_Cranberry_19 −  B**lshit. Don’t listen to these ppl. Flying commercial is what’s safe. Just ask buddy Holly, patsy cline, randy Rhodes, Kobe Bryant, and all these other folks who flew private. Public flights are safe because they’re regulated all to f**k. Private planes flown by “your friend who was in the marines” are how you die.

BiegAnn −  I’m confused by all these Y T As, maybe because I’ve known 5 people who have died in small plane crashes (3 crashes). One was a professional pilot. The one who crashed last year had asked to take my child up, to which I had said my child could make that decision for themselves after they turned 18. Even with an experienced pilot, small planes are significantly less safe to fly than commercial. With my family history, I would definitely say no and also say you are NTA.

leanyka −  NTA my kids would not be taking this plane either.

Artistic_Chapter_355 −  I was invited to fly on a private plane once. I declined. The plane crashed & 2 people died. I say trust your gut.

Sandwich_Main −  I wouldn’t do it either. Too many stories of light plane crashes.

utterly_caucasian −  YTA. I’m a flight instructor, meaning I teach people how to fly small general aviation aircraft every day. First, your BIL’s airplane is inspected at least once a year by a professional airframe and powerplant (A&P) mechanic. That person is certified by the FAA and knows what they’re doing. They wouldn’t sign off on your BIL’s airplane being safe to fly if anything was wrong with it. Second, your BIL is a military trained pilot. He knows what he’s doing. He wouldn’t put your children or your brother in harm’s way.

Is the user’s caution about letting her daughters fly in a small private plane valid, or is she overreacting? Should her husband and brother-in-law’s reassurances be enough? What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts in the comments!