AITA for blowing up on my family after they came 30 min late to my birthday dinner ?
A Reddit user shares their heartbreak over a birthday dinner gone wrong when their family arrived 30 minutes late, despite making special plans at a restaurant they were excited to try. After waiting alone and crying in their car, the family suggested finding a new restaurant, but tensions escalated, leading to an emotional confrontation. Was the Redditor justified in their frustration, or did they overreact to the situation? Read the full story below and decide for yourself.
‘ AITA for blowing up on my family after they came 30 min late to my birthday dinner’
I turned 25 yesterday. The most disappointing birthday I’ve ever had. I didn’t make any plans for the actual day because it’s a Wednesday, but planned to throw a party at my house with my friends and family this Saturday.
For the actual day I still went to work and everything was normal, but I wanted something simple so I asked my family (mom, dad and brother) the night before to go out to dinner with me at a nice restaurant I’ve been wanting to try. I confirmed a time that would work for everyone and made the reservation for 7:30pm.
My dad called to wish me a happy birthday and tried to convince me to go to my cousins house, who happened to be throwing a bbq of some sort. I said I’d rather not because I really wanted to try this restaurant and just wanted to celebrate with them, it’d feel really weird for me going to a party of some sort when it happens to be my bday and the attention I would get would be in genuine bc nobody at the bbq realized it was my birthday.
My dad says ok no problem. This was a nice restaurant that are very strict with reservations so I looked really nice and arrived right on time. My mom, who has not acknowledged it was my birthday calls me and says her and my dad are still at the house and need to shower and get ready, but my brother is on the way to meet me there so we should order appetizers.
5 min later my brother calls me and tells me he’s going to be late as well, that he’s also at the house and I should get the table myself. Now I know this restaurant was not going to seat me without my whole party, and after a certain time they’d give the table away.
I couldn’t take it anymore so I hung up on my brother, parked at a building near by and cried. I was so upset I declined all his and my moms calls. At 8pm 30 min after the reservation, my family pull up behind my car so I can’t back out and surrounds my car. I’m in shock bc I purposely parked at a random building, but forgot my brother has my location on find my friends.
So they surround the car, and start talking about what a long day everyone has had and how I should come with them to find a restaurant that will take us. I tell them I’ve been crying, mascara running all down my face and do not want to be out in public or with them. My dad says I don’t look upset and my mom keeps telling me to calm down.
They were not understanding that this wasn’t a “haha ok I’m overreacting” situation so I had to basically yell at them that it was too late and to leave me alone. They left and went to my cousins house. I got whattaburger on my way home and ate it myself. I was still so upset I barely slept, and texted the family groupchat they ruined my birthday and I didn’t want them coming to my party Saturday. I’m still so upset this morning. AITA?
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Sorry_I_Guess − NTA. They were incredibly rude and thoughtless. You asked very little of them – a nice family dinner at a restaurant you were really looking forward to trying – and they treated you like an afterthought, made you lose your reservation, and then didn’t even care enough to be apologetic after ruining the only thing you wanted for your birthday. I would have been so hurt if I were you. I’m so sorry they did that.
sharirogers − NTA. It was very rude of them to brush off your emotions like that. The fact is, they really wanted to go to the cousin’s BBQ instead of your birthday dinner, so that’s why they tried to get you to go with them. It’s also very worrisome to me that a 25yo woman’s brother (or any family member) has a locator for her on his phone. They like to keep tabs on you for some bizarre reason, and you need to put a stop to it.
oddity-on-holiday − ESH. Sure, your family shouldn’t have been late – that’s rude – but you… did not have an adult reaction.
1. You made the reservation only the night before, so they had to adjust their plans on very short notice.
2. When they can’t make it on time, you don’t check with the restaurant if they can hold the table, you withdraw somewhere to cry.
3. When your family shows up, you have to be even more dramatic about it, pointing out the fact that you’ve been crying.
4. And then, instead of salvaging the evening you throw a giant temper tantrum.
I mean, it’s your bday and you can cry if you want to and all that, but… I think you need to seriously have a think about how you deal with inconveniences in life so you don’t fall into pieces every time things don’t go your way. Because this was a lot.
Diligent-Syllabub898 − That they went to someone else’s party rather than your birthday dinner, **after having rsvp’d**? NTA.
Consistent-Annual268 − NTA. That sucked, sorry OP. Are your family chronically late to everything?
Ellie_Reads_Romance − NTA. Your parents and brother didn’t show up; after showing up like a bunch of clowns they should have been profusely apologetic but instead tried to deflect their sh!tty actions and push you into something that was never going to be celebratory for you.
Gosc101 − NTA it was your birthday they did not care about it in the slightest so you got very sad, and angry when they dismissed your feelings. Completely normal reaction from you. Do not invite them back to your party. If they will want to make up with you, I think you should give them a chance, but on your terms. You can give them a chance to meet on sth like this again, but they are paying and you can do this when it is convenient time-wise for you.
AndrijKuz − Mostly YTA. You didn’t want to go to another function because the attention wouldn’t be all on you? And then they still showed up, and wanted to go with you to a place they could fit in? These are adults in the middle of the week, and it can be hard to coordinate things.
Part of growing up is accepting you’re not always going to have time for kid-style birthday parties. And you already had another birthday party planned? And you made these plans on short notice? You’re being a bit unreasonable here. And as others have mentioned, your reaction was not an adult reaction. No offense, but you come across as a bit of a diva or a n**cissist about this.
Doenut55 − I mean.. I get it, but I’m going to say ESH. By 25, it’s pretty much all birthdays are diminishing till the end. If you wanted to make it a higher priority it should have been communicated much earlier. Your family tried to make amends and do the dinner. 30 minutes late by 8pm isn’t even that late.
I feel you could have still gone to eat but decided it wasn’t about the food. Make up aside, it really feels like it was salvageable. I’ve had family be hour(s) late. So I took initiative to say we start at 6pm when it’s really 7pm. Just depends on how much you want them to be there. But crying after half an hour, refusing to salvage it, and going to group chat is (to me) attention seeking for drama. They shouldn’t have been late.
Derpstercat − ESH but mostly you. Your parents and your brother were late to your birthday dinner but they all called and let you know ahead of time that they were going to be late. They should have tried harder to be on time. You on the other hand, You booked a dinner that required reservations the night before the dinner and expected everyone to drop an already planned event and come to your dinner instead.
Then when people were late, you tried absolutely nothing to fix the situation whatsoever and went and sat in your car and cried and then threw a temper tantrum for the rest of the evening. Grow up.
Was the Redditor right to feel so upset and react strongly, or should they have been more understanding of their family’s situation? How would you handle your emotions if you felt let down on a special day? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below!
