AITA for not letting friends from out of town stay at my home?

A Reddit user shares a story about her boyfriend’s friends, Jack and Liz, who live out of state and plan to visit her city with their four children. They have asked to stay at her downtown home but with a catch—they want her to leave so they can have privacy.

The user, who has never met Jack and Liz, finds this request unreasonable, especially since they are wealthy and have family in the area they could stay with. On top of this, she has a demanding work and school schedule, plus three dogs that require daily care.

Her boyfriend is disappointed and thinks she’s being unfair, suggesting that she’s judging them based on negative things she’s heard about them. The post concludes by inviting everyone to watch the story below.

‘ AITA for not letting friends from out of town stay at my home?’

My (30F) boyfriend (35M) has 2 friends who live in another state, let’s call them Jack and Liz. They want to come visit us in our state with their 4 children, ages ranging from 5-10. I live in the downtown area of our city while my boyfriend lives about 1 hour away in the suburbs.

My house is close to where I go to school full-time (about a 5 minute walk) and also close to where I work (10 minute walk to my first job, 10 minute drive to my second job). I live with my 3 dogs and because of my busy schedule, I have a dog walker come everyday to feed and care for them.

When Jack and Liz come to visit with their kids, they are asking to stay at my house. Here’s the thing though, they want me to leave my house so that their family can stay there with complete privacy. I think it is also worth noting that I have never met or spoken to Jack and Liz before (they are my boyfriend’s friends and not mine).

Also, they are originally from our city, so they have their parents and family members who still live here. They seem pretty wealthy mostly because they tell my boyfriend that they are. Liz is a SAHM and has never worked before because Jack has had multiple inheritances from deceased family members and he brags about his high-paying job.

They also own about 10 rental properties that they collect passive income from (believe they bought these houses with the inheritances). Before meeting Jack, Liz also did not work because her family is wealthy and supported her.

The thing is, my commute to work and school (I have one or both 7 days a week) is over an hour each way from my boyfriend’s house in the suburbs. I already have such long days that changing my commute to be 2+ hours a day, even for a week, is giving me anxiety with all of the stuff I have going on between work and school.

Also, I don’t have anyone to walk my dogs at my boyfriend’s house and even if I were to hire a dog walker, he doesn’t want a stranger having access to enter his house. Finally, it would just be really uncomfortable to have to leave my own home and I am also nervous about having young children running around my house when I am not there and my home is not child proofed.

So, AITA? My boyfriend seems disappointed in me because I am not opening my home to his friends and I am already making a bad impression on them. He also thinks that I am doing this because I am deciding to not like them based on what I know about them (just what I’ve heard from him).

Stuff like they are always asking to use my streaming logins but keep logging me out, when their dogs get old they abandon them at shelters so they can make room for new puppies…I do think that this kind of stuff bothers me BUT I think that even if it were my own friends making this housing request of me, I would tell them to get a hotel or stay at their parent’s houses.

Edit to add: my boyfriend lost both his parents young (when he was 16 and 22) and he doesn’t have siblings or much extended family. He considers his friends from high school as his family. I am trying to be sensitive to his situation, because essentially he thinks that I should be more accommodating to his friends, since they are his family.

Edit #2: regarding their past actions for their family pets, I find it absolutely a**orrent. When I’ve brought it up, I’ve been told that I am out of line because I don’t have a family/children. My boyfriend thinks any criticism of their actions towards pets is a criticism of them as parents, which since I don’t have kids, I shouldn’t be allowed to voice opinions on stuff I don’t know about.

My boyfriend thinks that at least 2 of the abandoned dogs may be attributed towards PPD since they were both within a year of a baby being born. However, I feel like the fact that animal family members were the victims, this is still a**orrent behavior.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

champagneformyrealfr −  they want me to leave my house so that their family can stay there with complete privacy are they for real?? i cannot believe the audacity of *anyone* to ask you to do that, much less people you’ve never met before (and their four children).

NTA. tell them air bnb offers full property rentals to suit their privacy needs. ETA: wow, thanks for all the awards, guys!! i just wanted to add that for anyone who stopped reading at the quote above, like me, she also said these people abandon their dogs at shelters when they get old, to make room for new puppies. *i would not let those people sleep in the dirtiest corner of my garage.*

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Why can’t they just go to your bf’s house, and your bf can stay at your place ?! It would make way more sense.
Asking you to EXIT YOUR OWN HOME to give privacy to people IN YOUR HOME sound very e**itled.

[Reddit User] −  NTA and holy red flags about your boyfriend. No one is e**itled to stay at your home and they especially aren’t e**itled to just take it over for a week. That’s insane and no one with healthy boundaries would allow that to happen. The fact that your boyfriend is disappointed in you for wanting to stay in your own house is a huge red flag.

[Reddit User] −  What kind of trashy people ask a complete stranger to vacate their house for free for an entire week so they can use it? Money does not buy class and this is a perfect example! No is a full sentence. Tell your boyfriend that exact thing! NTA but he can give up his place to them.

Edited to add… Only broke people ask for other people’s streaming service passwords. Those things are just a few dollars a month. Me thinks they lie about their wealth.

Gumgums66 −  No you’re NTA wtaf? You’re not a frigging air B&B. Let me guess, they didn’t even offer anything to compensate. And with 4 kids, you can’t even trust that they won’t trash your house. Just say no to them. You have no obligation to them or your boyfriend to disrupt your working week or your dogs for them.

SatelliteBeach123 −  NTA. Oh hell no. I don’t even think that your commute, dogs, etc. are relevant. These people want you to leave YOUR home. People you have never met. Who does this? Absolutely not.

sreno77 −  So they want a free air bnb. You don’t have to give them your house. They can stay with family or pay for accommodation like everyone else.
What were you expected to do with your dogs?. NTA

BabsieAllen −  NTA. You’re not an Airbnb. That they want you to leave your house, dogs and lifestyle for a week for strangers is ridiculous. This is a 2 yes, 1 no situation. Why is the bf so concerned with their comfort and not yours?

pudge-thefish −  NTA this would be a hard hell no for me. I wouldn’t even do that if they were my friends. Edit to add, the first time I was logged out of my own streaming service I would change to password and not give it out any more

Key-Bit1208 −  NTA. People who will abandon family pets due to age in order to replace them with puppies are not decent or respectful individuals. If they will throw away a member of their family unit, they aren’t going to care about your belongings or your house (and neither will their children).

And MAJOR red flags that your bf thinks their demands are reasonable (they AREN’T) and is ‘disappointed’ that you aren’t bending over backwards to capitulate to his e**itled and s**fish friends.

Do you think it’s reasonable for the user to refuse the request, or should she compromise for her boyfriend’s friends? How would you handle this situation? Feel free to share your thoughts below.