AITA for making a big deal about a twelve year old’s opinion?
A Redditor expresses their concern over their husband’s habit of asking their son’s twelve-year-old friend, who is Hispanic, to repeat herself and translate whenever she speaks in Spanish. This has been happening during her frequent playdates at their home.
The Redditor feels embarrassed by her husband’s behavior, especially when it creates awkward moments for the child. After discussing her feelings with her husband, he dismisses her concerns, suggesting that she shouldn’t worry about a child’s opinion.
The Redditor is left questioning whether her reaction is unreasonable and if she is overreacting to the situation. Read the story below for a deeper look at this family dynamic.
‘ AITA for making a big deal about a twelve year old’s opinion?’
My youngest son made a new friend last year, and now that it’s summer they’ve been having playdates. Her parents both work, so she usually comes over here. She’s Hispanic and she sometimes says things in Spanish.
Whenever she says anything in Spanish my husband will ask her what she said, even if she’s in an entirely different room. Like yesterday, I was in the living room watching them play, and my husband was in the kitchen.
She said something in Spanish, and he came out of the kitchen and asked her to repeat herself and explain the translation. I felt so embarrassed. She looked confused, and it was just so awkward. She wasn’t talking to him, why does it matter?
I told him today that I would like him to stop, and he looked at me like I was crazy. He said we should know what the kids are saying in our house. I said it was embarrassing, and he asked me if I was seriously worried about what a twelve year old thought of us? I came away from the conversation feeling really stupid.
I know it’s a harmless question, and I shouldn’t make such a big deal about it, but I often feel embarrassed in awkward situations, and it always feels so awkward when he does this. Am I the a**hole for asking him to stop just because I’m embarrassed even though he did nothing wrong?
See what others had to share with OP:
Bethsmom05 − NTA. Your husband is being a b**ly.
Mobius_Stripping − NTA that is super weird and controlling behavior on the part of your husband toward a child that isn’t his… also is your child learning spanish? or is the friend talking to themselves?
SkinnyPig45 − Your husband is r**ist. NTA
LavishnessJolly9193 − NTA does your kid speak Spanish? What does he think she is saying, they’re kids. It comes off a little “this is ‘Merica so speak English!”
Rohini_rambles − So to recap:
– he bullies a child for speaking her native tongue.
– he bullies her even though from context, she isn’t being rude or disrespectful. she’s just expressing her happy little kid feelings, and he HATES that.
– he bullies and makes YOU feel stupid and embarrassed when you dare to speak up
so either he’s one or more of the following: misogynist (and hates on all the females in the house), r**ist, a b**ly, g**lighting you into thinking you are misunderstanding what the child is doing… HE has a problem with the child speaking Spanish but he turns it around to make it seem like YOU are the one who’s stupid to feel embarrassed in front of a child.
You are only questioning your reaction because your husband turned it around to make you the weirdo here or the bad guy. I strongly urge you OP to start thinking of other instances where he does this you…. and you end up listening to him and thinking that you were in the wrong to think/feel/believe something….. NTA
cb1977007 − I don’t think you actually do care what a 12 year old thinks of you. I think you care whether a 12 year old guest is being made to feel uncomfortable in your home. And you’re absolutely right to care about that. And the fact is that she is being made to feel that way. Your husband is rude, a b**ly, and probably r**ist. NTA
sexygoose1999 − I’m sorry to say but it’s really giving. “we only speak English in this house” vibes. which is quite scary…. OP is NTA
Zeep0410 − NTA. But ngl this is… very concerning. Giving off white supremacy/English only in America vibes. I’d reflect on if you’ve noticed any other potential r**ist behaviors and address that.
pippi2424 − NTA. Adults embarrassing kids are a shame to witness. All he should care is that she speaks English to him. Some people who don’t know a second language feel so inferior that they attack bilinguals just because.
Salt-Future7162 − What ever your husband doing is filled with micro aggressions, and if I ever witnessed someone talking to my child like that, I would never let them near that person again. Wtf does he think he is assuming 12 year is only speaking Spanish to curse them out or say bad things.
Also the fact he is asking the same person to translate what they are saying. Is the epitome of stupid. Finally why are you letting your child near someone you don’t trust speak in their own f**king language. He can F**K OFF.
Navigating cultural differences and communication can be tricky, especially in front of kids. What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!
