AITA for blackmailing my brother into not proposing to his girlfriend at my wedding?
A Reddit user shares a story about preventing her brother from proposing to his girlfriend at her wedding. The user (27F) recently got married and learned beforehand that her brother (24M) planned to propose to his girlfriend, Sara (27F), during his speech welcoming the new husband into the family.
Concerned that this would overshadow her big day, the user blackmailed him by threatening to reveal Sara’s pregnancy, a secret she had confided in her. Their heated argument was diffused before the wedding, and her brother eventually proposed privately afterward. While Sara appreciated her discretion, her brother still holds resentment for the situation. The post concludes by inviting everyone to watch the story below.
‘ AITA for blackmailing my brother into not proposing to his girlfriend at my wedding?’
My (F27) brother (24) and I were raised in a very traditional Southern Baptist household. I got married two weeks ago and it went off without a hitch. It was a beautiful ceremony and the reception was a lot of fun for everyone, I think.
The only thing that could have messed it up was my brother. He wanted to ask his girlfriend, Sara (27) to marry him at the reception during his speech welcoming my husband to the family. My dad passed away last year and I thought it would be good to have my brother do the honors.
Thank God he told me his idea beforehand. My brother didn’t know that Sara, who is one of my best friends, had already told me that she was pregnant. My brother is a youth pastor at our church. Sara is the choir director. Everyone looks up to them.
I told him that if he had the audacity to try and include himself in my day the response to his speech would be me toasting his new baby. He was furious that I knew about it. And that I would leverage it against him. I saw red. I said that if he and his girlfriend were willing to go against our beliefs then I had no problem calling him out.
Our fight got loud enough that our mom came in to break it up. I kept my mouth shut despite wanting to blab right there and then. Like I said my wedding went perfectly. And my brother proposed to his girlfriend privately at a beautiful little spot in the hotel grounds after we left the reception.
Sara thanked me for my discretion and for convincing my d**bass brother not to try and horn in on my day when I got back from my honeymoon. We all had dinner with my mom last night and my brother is still salty about the situation though.
When I spoke with him to congratulate him on his engagement he said I was petty to keep him and Sara from having a moment in the sun. I said that there were a thousand more appropriate places for him to propose and that he chose well.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
doggomother − NTA. Sara even thanked you for stopping him. He can stay salty.
restless_otter − NTA. “Oh, so you’re mad that I would’ve made a public announcement that would’ve disturbed your ‘event’? That’s exactly what you tried to do.”
Just-Ducky1234 − NTA, god I hate people that try to propose at other people’s weddings. The only time that is okay is if it was planned in advance and both bride and groom are fully on board and enthusiastic about sharing their day.
Otherwise, do your thing on your own time and don’t take away someone else’s spotlight. There are 364 other days, you don’t need to propose at someone else’s wedding. I’m glad Sara agreed with you and thanked you for holding your ground
nopenothappening99 − NTA he don’t want ‘a’ moment in the sun, he wanted ‘your’ moment in the sun.
SomeGuyClickingStuff − NTA. Also, seems like you have a solid future SIL
[Reddit User] − Nta I honestly don’t understand why some people think a wedding is a good place to propose
atmasabr − When I spoke with him to congratulate him on his engagement he said I was petty to keep him and Sara from having a moment in the sun. I said that there were a thousand more appropriate places for him to propose and that he chose well. NTA. It was not petty, it does not matter that he did not understand, and all’s well that ends well.
extinct_diplodocus − NTA. Brother still thinks he was right to propose at your wedding. Without your counter-threat, he definitely would have. The only other thing that could have stopped him would be Sara admitting she knew his plans, and telling him if he proposed at the wedding, she’d say no and break up with him.
Powerful_Rule8859 − NTA. Your wedding is your day. Your brother can and did propose somewhere else which is the right thing to do.
According_Ad6364 − NTA, he can be salty if he wants but Sara thanked you for what you did even, so she didn’t want that type of proposal either. You ended up doing him a favor.
Do you think it was fair for the user to take such a strong stance on keeping her wedding day solely about her? Or could there have been a better way to handle the situation? Feel free to share your thoughts and leave comments below.
