AITA for yelling at my son after he insulted my injury?
A 43-year-old father, who walks with a limp due to an old leg injury, overhears his 15-year-old son mocking him to friends. The son jokes about having to take his “crippled dad” on a boring hike, making additional disparaging remarks about his father’s slow pace.
Hurt and furious, the father confronts his son, calling him an “idiot” with a “sick sense of humor.” Although the son apologizes, the father cancels their planned trip without informing him, leaving the boy upset. The father’s wife believes his reaction was harsh.
AITA for yelling at my son after he insulted my injury?’
I (M43) suffered a pretty serious leg injury about a decade ago. While my leg has largely healed, I still walk with somewhat of a limp and occasionally use a cane. I still try to be active, but have accepted that I will never move like I used to again.
Because of my injury, I’ve been limited in how many sports I could play with my son (M15) but have spent time with him in other ways. I recently got back into hiking (an activity my son also enjoys) and invited him to join me on a short hike on a trail a short drive from our house this weekend.
I had been very busy over the past few weeks with work, and my son just started summer vacation, so I was really looking forward to the bonding experience. My son was initially excited to go but seemed to become less enthusiastic as the date got closer.
Yesterday, I got back from work a little earlier than usual. I could hear my son in the basement playing video games and chatting with a few of his friends. I don’t think they realized that I was home.
I set up in the living room to do some paperwork when I heard one of my son’s friends ask him if he was going with them to the cinema this weekend. My son declined and stated, ‘I can’t, I have to take my crippled dad to see birds and s**t.’
Hearing him say that hurt, but then he continued into how boring the experience would be and how slowly I would be moving. He made several more comments about how I’m ‘learning how to walk’ and how he and my wife need to give me encouragement like I’m some sort of toddler.
I could not concentrate on my work anymore, so I just sat there feeling upset and furious. About 20 minutes later, they came upstairs. I think they could all sense I was angry as all my son’s friends said goodbye before heading out. My son asked me then if everything was ok, so I told him what I heard him saying.
He said that it was out of context and not representative of what he actually thought. He apologized and said that he was just making a few jokes for his friends. He then went on to add how it was tough for him as he was the only one in his group who had a dad “like this”.
I was annoyed and more upset by this and told him that he was an i**ot for being the only person there who would make such jokes about their own father, and I said that he had a sick sense of humor. My son apologized again, and then I asked him to leave me alone. He went into his room, closing the door.
My wife came back from work later, and I told her everything. She was mortified but thought my reaction was excessive. Needless to say, I cancelled the trip (did not communicate this with my son) and went into the office this morning to finish some work. AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA. If your son genuinely thinks the trip is that boring, why waste it on him. He’s old enough to learn that his words have consequences. But you should tell him that you cancelled it because he made it sound like *such* a bad time.
And ignore everyone trying to excuse that cruelty for him being 15. 15 year olds do stupid things that end up on AFV, they don’t get to get away scott free when they say things like that.
Brutal man… f**king brutal. Cancel that hike with him, let him do his own thing. You focus on you and keep up with the hobbies you love. In time you can get over this and try find some hobbies that work with him. For now you should explain to him the concept of respect, b**lying, and what it means to have class.
Tell him you definitely feel unloved and hurt, especially with everything you do for him. He sounds incredibly f**king stupid, a typical 15 year old. This can become a learning moment for him, to see the pain he causes.
Your son sounds very ungrateful for you trying your best to be an active parent in his life. You both need space from each other. And your wife needs to understand that if he’s so willing to make rude remarks about his owns fathers injury, what could he be saying about strangers who are dealing with similar injuries.
The situation is not to be taken lightly and shouldn’t be ignored because he’s a “child”. He’s old enough to know his words are harmful.
clwitch −
Nope, NTA. Your son displayed some appalling ableist behaviour and then doubled down on it while seemingly only “apologising” because you confronted him.
As someone with chronic pain and limitations because of an accident, it would break my heart to hear a loved one speak about me like that.
I imagine hearing him say those things was almost like a confirmation of some of the worst things you’ve said about yourself in your own mind. Your son is old enough to suffer the consequences of speaking in such a horribly insensitive way. Just because you’re his parent doesn’t mean you can’t be exceptionally hurt by him.
NTA. No this isn’t teenage stupidity. No I wouldn’t be doing anything with him. Take him to the cinema and drop him off. And don’t give him any money. He can start working. What an ass.
NTA. I don’t get why a lot of people here think that parents aren’t allowed to have their own feelings i.e. hurt and humiliation, just because they’re the parent.Take your time to process your emotions around it and then have a chat with him. You and your wife should speak to him, about what it is to respect your parents and treat them with love and compassion .
15 or not he’s old enough to know what he said was wrong. Why the hell y’all excusing his stupidity being a 15 year old. At 15 I knew not to say s**t like that. No one keeps their lil spawns accountable anymore and that’s why they grow into society monsters
NTA. Your son is an ass. I was hit by car while riding my bicycle a few years ago and I can’t do things like I used to. Not once has my son ever made such horribly cruel jokes and when one of his “friends” did say something rude about me, my son viciously defended me and cut that friend out of his life.
Your son is wildly ungrateful to have you and his remarks are awful. I’m so sorry OP.
NTA. I get your kid is 15 but wtf?! Your kid is a little d**k.
NTA and I’m going to tell you why. My father had a very serious injury on the work site. He couldn’t walk for about a year. We had to empty his pee bottles as well as a whole host of other things. I was an a**hole at 15 but I NEVER EVER made him feel bad.
It was hard enough on him at it was and having to ask us to help him was a big blow to his ego.. Sorry your kid is not sympathetic.
Was the father justified in reacting so strongly, or should he have handled the situation differently? What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!
