AITA for going home without my boyfriend because he wouldn’t stop having conversations ?
You (24F) and your boyfriend (27M) attended a friend’s birthday party, and due to an early work shift the next day, you both agreed to leave early. Your boyfriend, who has a broken foot, asked to finish a conversation before leaving, but after multiple reminders over the course of 30 minutes, he still hadn’t left.
Tired and frustrated, you offered to have his sister drive him home and left the party. Your boyfriend called and accused you of being an AH for leaving without him, then blocked you and spent the night at his sister’s house.
‘ AITA for going home without my boyfriend because he wouldn’t stop having conversations ?’
My (24F) boyfriend (27M) and I were invited to one of our friend’s birthday party yesterday. I had work early today so we agreed on leaving early. Also, my boyfriend broke his foot so I was in charge of driving. Around 11pm, I start to feel tired so I told my boyfriend we were gonna go soon. He said yes, let me just finish my conversation, I said Ok.
After 5 minutes of waiting, I tell him again that I was tired so we needed to leave. He told me to wait 5 more minutes. But those 5 minutes quickly turned into 10, those 10 into 20 and 20 into 30 minutes. At this point,I was getting angry because he already promised me we’d leave early but it was now close to midnight and he was still talking. I go to him again and tell him that if he’s having fun and wants to stay then I can ask his sister to drive him home as it’s on her way.
He said no and that he was coming. I told him that i was really tired and would leave without him if he wasn’t there in 5 minutes. He said he’d be there. It’s without surprise that after 5 minutes, he was still not here but was having another conversation with someone else. I go to him one last time and tell him I’m leaving, I guess he didn’t heard because he didn’t react.
Before leaving, I go to his sister and ask if she can drives him home, she said she would so I thanked her and I left. My boyfriend called me 10 minutes after to ask where I was. I told him I left because I was tired and he wouldn’t leave.
He called me an AH and hung up. He texted me right after and told me that I was an ah for leaving without him, that he was just talking with his friends and that it wouldn’t have killed me to wait a little more. He blocked me right after that and slept at his sister’s house.
I texted her and she told me he just need time to cool down and that me leaving without him had really hurt him.No news since, from him or his sister. Was I the AH to leave without him ? Perhaps it’s true that I could’ve waited till he finished talking.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
BetweenWeebandOtaku − NTA. The real giveaway is “that it wouldn’t have killed you to wait a little more.” He had no intention of leaving early and was just lying to you to keep you quiet.
ReviewOk929 − 1. You set a boundary. He ignored it several times
2. You made sure he had a lift home
3. It’s not safe to drive when you’re overly tired. You did the right thing
4. He blocked you which is being petulant and immature.
5. You’re better off without him if this is how he treats you
6. Why would you continue to wait when he constantly kept breaking his word?
7. NTA.
Beat_The_Game − NTA. You were very clear and reasonable with your boyfriend about your need to leave early. He was being disrespectful and s**lfish by ignoring you and continuing to talk with his friends. He also broke his promise to you and lied about coming soon. You did nothing wrong by leaving without him, especially since you arranged for his sister to drive him home. He owes you an apology.
Poozor − NTA. Let him leave you blocked and move on. You really don’t want to continue a relationship with someone like this. Red flags are everywhere.
Me_Thinks_Not − So, his 5 minutes turned into over half an hour more? Why does his wants come before your needs? You made it clear before the party that you needed to leave early and he agreed, but decided something else in his head.
He said that ‘It wouldn’t have killed you to wait a little more’ meaning that he had no intention of wrapping up his convo in 5 minutes and planned to make you wait as long as he wanted.
He had the right to want to speak with his friends, but why did he want to force you to stay when you were tired and his sister was there and could drive him? This is an AH move, but it’s him blocking you that would have me blocking him from my life. – NTA
CartographerHot2285 − He blocked you??? Get the f out right now girl, that is a serious red flag.
NTA
Coffeebeforesunset − NTA. You had to ask his sister if she can drive him home??? He is 27, not 7. You should leave him, this time for good.
SelkiesRevenge − His sister can keep him. It won’t kill him to send one of his conversationalist friends to pick his stuff up where you leave it in trash bags outside your place where you have freshly changed locks. NTA.
beaujonfrishe − So why did you make this post without adding “ex” before the boyfriend part? NTA
Weak-Cheetah-2305 − NTA- your boyfriend is s**lfish & prioritised his friends over you. He could have easily got a lift with his sister and let you go when you wanted, but you ended up staying an extra hour for him? But somehow you’re the one who’s the AG?
And then blocking you?! Is he 12? His brain is fully developed- don’t stay with him. He’s done you a favour- and I bet it’s not the only time he has thrown his toys out of the pram…
You repeatedly communicated your tiredness and the need to leave, and your boyfriend disregarded those requests. You even arranged a ride for him before leaving, showing consideration. His reaction seems disproportionate, and it was reasonable for you to leave after waiting for so long.
