AITA for making my son cook for his sister even if it means cooking at midnight and waking him up.

A Redditor turned to the AmItheA**hole subreddit after enforcing an unusual punishment for her 17-year-old son. During the summer, the son repeatedly pestered his older sister—who works night shifts—to make him food, disrupting her sleep.

As a consequence, the OP decided that her son would have to make meals for his sister on demand, including at inconvenient times. Now that school has started, the son is struggling with exhaustion, prompting backlash from their grandparents. With family members divided, the OP wonders if she’s taking the punishment too far.

‘ AITA for making my son cook for his sister even if it means cooking at midnight and waking him up.’

It’s literally 14 days now out of 185 school days. He won’t fail school, that’s extremely dramatic for two weeks of being a tired..

Post : My daughter 21 gets off at work at 4 am, she usually stays up until lunch time and then sleeps until she goes to work. She works night shift , my son is 17 and still in highschool.
I’m at work when she is sleeping but my son was home for the summer and he would wake her up to make him food.

He would pester her until she did it so she could go back to sleep. It came to a head a month ago where my daughter lost it and I finally learned about it. Anyways long conversation and as his punishment he has to make my daughter food when she asks for at any time the same amount she did for him.

So it was about 30 times he woke her up so he has to make her 30 meals. Everyone agreed, though my son wasn’t happy and picked it over losing his phone for a month.
So my daughter will wake him up to make her food, he still has 15 meals left. He hates it but it get the point across.

Now school started and he got woken up last night to make her food. So this morning he was tried as all hell. He went to his grandparents and I got in a huge argument with my mom. She thinks I am an a**hole but the punishment fits the crime. My son won’t talk to me and I am questing myself even though my husband is backing up the punishment.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Disastrous-Quit-5674 −  That’s actually a perfect punishment. He woke her up for food so now he gets to feel what it is like. You also gave him a choice and he picked this one. The point is he will be tired when people wake you up for no good reason. NTA

coffeemom23 −  NTA. Y T A commenters, notice that OP says the son *chose* this punishment over giving up his phone for a month. This is basically model parenting; the son is 17, nearly an adult, he behaved selfishly and stupidly and is now making it up to the person he mistreated. And he’s been given agency here, he chose to keep his phone over uninterrupted sleep. Well done, OP.

CheshireCatsGrin87 −  As a teacher – NTA. There are lessons which are MUCH more important than the ones you learn at school. This is one of them.
EDIT: For the whiners worrying about the boy’s education – don’t be ridiculous. It’s two weeks, that will definitely not shatter his academic career. Moreover, HE chose it instead of having his phone confiscated.

His sister works in medicine. She could have lost her job or even endanger someone because of being sleep-deprived! And you all worry that two weeks of being tired miGhT rUiN His fUtUre! C’mon…

No-Locksmith-8590 −  Nta tell him if he wants, he can still choose the other option. He’s tired as hell? So was his sister. He can come home and take a nap right after school.
Punishments don’t end bc they’re inconvenient. Punishments don’t end bc ‘I don’t waaaaaannna’.Punishments dont end when the perpetrator wants it to end.

Edit- read this to my mom for a 64 yo’s perspective and her opion was ‘F**k no, he doesn’t get out of a punishment’ and a roll of the eyes.

Sidneyreb −  NTA. Bhahahahaha!!!
This is the perfect punishment for a deliberate act to try and prove he had control over his sister.
My mother would have just told him to, “Kiss your sister and tell her you’re sorry”. Still laughing!!

[Reddit User] −  I’m confused as to why a 17 year old needs someone to make him food.

Maximum_Plant69 −  NTA. this is karma, he’s getting what he deserves. your daughter was working when he was waking her up, meaning she was tired during work. he can go to sleep earlier if his sleep is so precious. also, this is good parenting! his grandparents are clearly favouring your son. don’t change anything, he’s just seeing exactly how hard he made his sisters life.

beanfiddler −  NTA. A lot of your family probably is mad at you because you’re punishing a boy for pestering a girl to cook for him, and they think that’s the natural state of the world. Well, they’re wrong. Your son treated your daughter very disrespectfully and now he gets a punishment that absolutely fits the crime.

It’s not over-the-top, too lenient, something that makes you happy, or something you did out of anger. It’s perfect because it makes amends to the person he hurt, while also teaching him what he did was wrong.

Since he’s a snitch, though, I don’t think he’s getting it as much as he should. His grandparents are also the assholes, and probably filled his head with nonsense about how he doesn’t deserve this because he is their precious baby boy.

I would pull rank and tell them they’re not allowed to undermine your parental authority like that or choose sides between your son and your daughter, and the next time they do that, you’re going to cut ties for a while.

busyshrew −  Talk about making the punishment fit the crime! And wow can’t believe your son woke up your daughter to make her cook for him…. I’m very glad you are addressing this.
But if he’s desperately unhappy AND everyone involved feels like he has sufficiently learned his lesson, perhaps you could call a Parole Board meeting, and ask your daughter what she thinks.

Is there an alternate way your son can continue his sentence? Is there another way for him to make amends? What does your spouse think and what does your daughter think?
(Maybe ask your son, too, what he could do instead of making the same number of meals – his answer would be very enlightening.

Because if he suggests some fluff offering then clearly he hasn’t learned, but if he is serious about being sorry his alternate suggestion should be a good one).
I think you are NTA for having your son face consequences, but you would be T A if you are overly rigid and refuse to reconsider your decisions in the face of all opposition.

life1sart −  NTA he just needs to adjust his bedtime to an hour or two earlier to make up for the missed sleep in the middle of the night. Definitely something he can also learn. Good on you for making the punishment fit the crime.

What do you think? Is the punishment fair, or should the OP reconsider her approach?