AITA for telling my cousin I’m not having a child free wedding, her daughter just isn’t invited
You (27m) and your fiancé (25f) are planning a fall wedding, and you’ve decided to allow guests to bring their children—except for your cousin Linda’s 12-year-old daughter, Cerrie. The reason is that Cerrie previously threw a tantrum and destroyed the cake at another cousin’s wedding out of jealousy. Linda, your cousin, tried to start a conversation about child-free weddings, but you explained that your wedding is not child-free, only that Cerrie is excluded due to her past behavior. Linda and her supporters have since bombarded you with messages accusing you of being selfish for excluding Cerrie.
‘ AITA for telling my cousin I’m not having a child free wedding, her daughter just isn’t invited’
I (27m) am getting married in the fall to my fiancé (25f) and we’ve decided that friends and family can bring their kids, since for the most part the kids are well behaved and will be with a sitter for the night so the parents can enjoy the festivities.
The only exception is my cousin Linda’s daughter Cerrie (12). Linda’s e**titled and s**lfish and she’s made her daughter e**titled and s**lfish. Two years ago my other cousin, Linda’s sister Lily got married and Cerrie ruined the wedding by throwing a tantrum, and destroying the cake because she was jealous that Lily’s daughter was the flower girl.
Linda recently called me up to “talk” and brought up child free weddings and how terrible they are. Her invitation said nothing about a child free wedding, it had her name, and her husbands name on it and no plus one or anything to indicate Carrie could come.
I told her I wasn’t having a child free wedding, Cerrie just wasn’t invited because of what happened at Lily’s wedding. I don’t want a repeat of Cerrie seeing she’s not the flower girl again and throwing another fit.
Linda’s since gotten all her friends and the few people in the family who take her side to bombard me, my fiancé and family with texts about how s**lfish we are for purposefully excluding one child while everyone else can bring their kids.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
[deleted] ( Top 1 ) says
NTA, uninvite anyone that complained.
Disastrous_Cress_701 ( Top 2 ) says
NTA. Cerrie was 10 when she threw her fit. Old enough to know better.
So she’s 12.going on 13 now with extra fun hormones raging through her system.
Has she/did she show any remorse for her behaviour? Is that an ongoing issue with her throwing tantrums when she’s not the sole focus?
Forsaken-Teaching756 ( Top 3 ) says
NTA, but I would reply “You’re so right, it was really mean to exclude a child from the wedding her parents are invited to. Therefore I rescind the invite to you and your husband.”
BetweenWeebandOtaku ( Top 4 ) says
JAM (justified a**shole move). This shouldn’t be funny, but it’s pretty funny.
Thanatofobia ( Top 5 ) says
NTA
And if i was you, i’d uninvite the parents too.
She sounds like the type to ruin your wedding out of spite, because you offended her “little angel”
And make sure the families know why.
Tell them (facebook, whatsapp group message) *why*
That she got her friends (strangers to you) to harass you over this.
Snippy2mySnappy ( Top 6 ) says
NTA
Your wedding should be about you. People who try to make it about them should be uninvited.
And it seems like you have a good reason and you already explained it.
Sonadormarco ( Top 7 ) says
Nta. Dont budge . She Will ruin your wedding. Shes ruining it now by making you look bad. Fight her by giving the reason of what happened to her sisters wedding . In whatecer form like social media etc Limit your contact with your cousin. Shes t**xic.
Ok_Motor_4298 ( Top 8 ) says
info : If you have an issue with the e**titled and s**lfish kid, why did you invite the e**titled and s**lfish parent ?
Hebrew-Hammer57 ( Top 9 ) says
NTA, uninvite her as well. Its your wedding.
Griffo_au ( Top 10 ) says
NTA. It’s your wedding, not theirs.
My response would be along the lines of “you are right, it’s not fair that you can’t bring your daughter, so I won’t invite you or your husband either, as I don’t want my day ruined”.
NTA. You’re entitled to set boundaries for your wedding, especially considering past experiences. You are not excluding all children, just one who has proven disruptive. Your cousin Linda is projecting her frustrations onto you, but you’re protecting your special day from potential chaos. It’s your wedding, and your decision to avoid another ruined moment is entirely justified.
