AITA for kicking my BIL’s entire family out, which made them homeless, after they slowly destroyed my home?

A woman recounts the fallout of kicking her brother-in-law (BIL) and his family out of her home after they disrespected her space and destroyed sentimental items. She initially let them move in, setting clear boundaries that were repeatedly ignored.

Over a month, the family failed to clean up after themselves, and their two young children caused significant damage, including peeing on the couch, trashing the living room, and breaking a precious vase handmade by her late mother. Furious, she ordered them to leave by midnight, throwing their belongings onto the lawn.

After they left, the BIL’s family accused her of being cruel and heartless. Though her husband supported her decision, she faces backlash from her mother-in-law for making them homeless.

‘ AITA for kicking my BIL’s entire family out, which made them homeless, after they slowly destroyed my home?’

My husband’s brother, 35m, his wife, 26f, and two boys (4 & 3) moved in with me and my husband (both 30) last month because they got evicted. I never wanted them here in the first place due to past issues, but after speaking with my husband, we decided for the sake of the young children to give them a place to stay.

Before they moved in, we set some ground rules such as my BIL must be actively job searching and that they must RESPECT our space and clean up after themselves.
Unfortunately, in the past month, they have began to slowly destroy my home and my space without giving two shits.

First of all, my SIL is an extremely picky eater so their family doesn’t eat with us. Fine. BUT they never ever clean up after themselves, constantly leaving dirty dishes and pans, crumbs, food stains. When I tell them to clean after themselves, they begrudgingly do but it’s never a job well done.

Last week, one of the boys had peed on my very expensive couch which i ONLY found out about after smelling p**ss when I was watching TV. SIL is stay-at-home but she’s more like stay-in-her-room, doing god knows what while her two children run rampant around my house.

In the last three weeks, her boys have 1) colored on their bedroom walls 2) trashed my living room with their toys 3) knocked over half of my plant collection. Their whole family has turned my house into a f**cking zoo while contributing NOTHING. I’ve not been able to comfortably live in my own space for the past few weeks.

My husband could sense my frustration so he told me he’d have a talk with them and hire a maid to clean our house. Things got a little better UNTIL…yesterday, I get home early from work and their family’s gone. Good, I think, peace and quiet for a few hours.

I decide to go take a nap in our bedroom ONLY TO FIND THAT MY PRECIOUS VASE THAT MY MOTHER HANDMADE FOR ME WAS SHATTERED ON THE GROUND (I lost my mom when I was a teen and it is one of the last handmade items I have from her).

I immediately knew it was the boys because there were toys inside my room and their tablet was on my bed. I was so angry. I ended up calling my husband, explaining the situation, and told him that they would not stay another day in our house, no questions asked.

Then I went around the house picking up their dirty clothes, toys, papers, etc. and threw them outside onto our lawn. When they came back, there was a huge confrontation between me and them. I

listed all the disrespectful things they’d done and that because they’d met NONE of the conditions outlined when they first moved in, I wanted them off my property by midnight. I called their kids untrained dogs. They screamed back calling me heartless, cruel, evil, saying I’d make them homeless.

Well they did end up leaving after I threatened to call the cops. Husband is fully on my side but I can tell he feels a little bad. MIL called me, upset, asking me to take them back in after I “forced them to sleep in their car” last night. AITA?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

rigbysgirl13 ( Top 1 ) says

NTA.
You are NTA. If m-i-l is concerned, she can take them or buy a motel room. They’ve sh!t all over your hospitality and it is no coincidence they were gone when you got home. They knew breaking that vase was gonna be bad news. I am so sorry this happened to you. Definitely not the AH, but your m-i-il and husband are teetering into assholery.

They need to support *you* in this. Is there an artisan who might repair the vase, or create something from the pieces?

Fairmount1955 ( Top 2 ) says

MIL can take them in. NTA, being family doesn’t entitle anyone to no boundaries and destruction of property. They don’t seem capable of managing their lives or making an effort to. I’m glad your husband at least stuck by you.

dessertshots ( Top 3 ) says

NTA The only assholes here are those family members who sad idly by as a 30 year financially insecure old man impregnated, a 22 year woman, not once but twice. I feel bad but MIL should take them in or something.

SingleBat5604 ( Top 4 ) says

NTA I can see why they were evicted from their last place. And 3/5 is old enough to know not to draw on walls and not urinate on furniture. The kids are feral and Bil & Sil are leeches.Your place was their last chance before homelessness and they even screwed that up.

Leahthevagabond ( Top 5 ) says

NTA – I’m so sorry about your vase! Look into Kintsugi!!! Maybe you can still save it. It will never be the same but it will still be there.

maria_puente87 ( Top 6 ) says

Excuse my language but f**ck no you’re NTA! Omg they are utterly terrible and disrespectful people! They are grown adults and not your responsibility to look after. Hope things get better for you.

Mas-Chingona ( Top 7 ) says

#NTA. *You* didn’t make them homeless; they made *themselves* homeless. And from the sound of it, this is a pattern with them. You didn’t take them in to raise and it’s not your problem. Don’t feel bad and don’t give it a second thought.

Interesting-Wonder12 ( Top 8 ) says

NTA. A month is more than long enough to come to your wits end with someone disregarding your hospitality. You had a moment of clarity while you were home alone and they still managed to ruin it. If they didn’t come up with a game plan for this to be a possibility over that month, that’s on them.

MIL should fund their trip to live with her or put them up in a motel/hotel, you’ve wasted enough time and resources.

jussigoosey ( Top 9 ) says

NTA why doesnt MIL take them in?

sunset-tx-armadillo ( Top 10 ) says

NTA – You were kind to give them a place to stay. They continued to abuse your home & generosity. I cannot imagine staying with someone for free and not cleaning up after myself.

Their kids destroyed your home. Nope-not gonna put up with that crap! They bit the hand that fed them. Not your problem any more.