AITA for telling my wife she embarrassed me by bringing a meal to my work?
Have you ever had someone try to do something nice for you, but it ended up backfiring in the worst way? Here’s a story about a man whose wife surprised him by bringing his favorite meal to work, only for his coworkers to make fun of him for it. Feeling embarrassed, he lashed out at her, but now he’s wondering—was he wrong to get upset, or did his wife cross a line by not checking with him first?
‘AITA for telling my wife she embarrassed me by bringing a meal to my work?’
I 33M recently got hired at a large company in the south where me and my wife moved months ago. My wife was excited for my new job and talked about preparing a surprise for me which got me excited but I didn’t what it was til she showed up at my workplace 2 days ago with a meal she said she prepared specifically for me since it’s my favorite.
Apparently this was her surprise. I was little upset she brought it to my workplace. My co workers who are vicious and brutally honest and sarcastic got involved and kept teasing me about the meal. one of them “Austin” joked about how “mommy” is so supportive by bringing food to my workplace. I felt like shit as he and other co workers kept laughing at me.
I went to work the next day and Austin kept making jokes about me saying shit like “is mommy going to bring lunch today as well?” And “When is mommy coming to change your diaper?” And some other shit. one of them who’s someone I don’t know well said “oh you guys I can still smell the meal (my name’s) mom brought yesterday. She’s such great cook bless her heart!” And the goddamned giggles kept on.
I felt so awful I went home and just blew up at my wife telling her she flatout fucking embarrassed me and just torpedoed any goddamned prestige and respect I had among my co workers. I told her what Austin and others have been doing and asked if she was happy for giving him emmo to come at me like that. She argued that she was just trying to do something nice for me and didn’t care about what people might say but I was a selfish jerk who only cares about what others think rather than how she felt by my constant berating over a meal she put effort money and time to make and bring to me.
The argument escalated after I suggested that she could’ve waited til I got home to surprise me with this goddamned meal instead of showing up while I was working which made me seem unprofessional. she said she came during lunch break but I was still working during lunch break. She said at this point I clearly find it easier to blame her than stand up for myself against those childish bullies. I said I didn’t appreciate what she said but she replied that I should be grateful she cared enough to bring me a home cooked meal then thanked me for showing her it’s not worth wasting anymore of her time cooking for me after this.
I told her to stop blaming me for something she caused and asked her to admit that maybe she should’ve consulted me before bringing the meal over so I could avoid being the goddamned butt of every joke my co workers told. I don’t even know how long this is going to last. She told me to man up and either report them or quit then. I was floored by what she said I had to walk out becuase I couldn’t take anymore of this and felt like she wasn’t listening to how her behavior caused me an issue at work.
Edit to say that I in no way don’t appreciate my wife’s effort but the only problem I have is that she didn’t tell me beforehand about wether it was okay to bring the meal over to my workplace. I really prefered that she waited til I got home or we could’ve gone out later to eat. I agree that the main problem I have is my co workers but I lashed out because I felt overwhelmed with their hurtful remarks that offended my wife as well.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
BookkeeperHefty2143 – YTA. Your wife is an absolute sweetheart. Your colleagues are bullying you, and bullying your wife in return isn’t going to fix anything.
Rotankattila – YTA. Maybe you should stop blaming your wife for your inability to stand up for yourself.
She said at this point I clearly find it easier to blame her than stand up for myself against those childish bullies
YTA and your wife is absolutely correct here.
APX919 – YTA for siding with coworkers over your wife who you married, live with and presumably love. Those coworkers are immature and I cannot for the life of me fathom why their opinion of you matters more than that of your spouse.
hugatro – YTA instead of standing up to a bunch of work bullies who are insulting you wife and bullying you. You take it out on your wife because it’s easier than being a man and standing up the the real problems.
Why not mock them ” at least my wife cares about my wellbeing”, “are we jealous boys, because my wife took time out of her day to try and make me happy”. No instead you attack your wife. You should say sorry to her and then stand up to those bullies
Apprehensive-Fan-250 – YTA. Good God. Psa: your coworkers would have have found something else to give you shit about, don’t kid yourself about that. Your wife went above and beyond to treat you with respect and love and you trashed it because you want to fit in with a bunch of dicks???
Edit to add: your own edit shows you STILL don’t get it, you still think your wife caused this ‘problem’ and no you DON’T appreciate her actions. Pro tip: the problem here is how you think you need approval and prestige and I don’t know, some sort of holy man-bro-points with these jackasses instead of a good work ethic and solid performance?? I get wanting to be accepted and part of a team but damn. That kind of team doesn’t usually get real far and you’re willing to unleash on your wife over something that petty? A decent person owns their shit, and makes it right.
Unlucky-Profession41 – She didn’t come over to your desk during working hours and wrap her arms around you and drown you in kisses in front of co-workers. She didn’t bang on the manager’s door to tell him he/she did a good job by hiring you. She didn’t ring the company phone line to introduce herself to the secretary. THAT’S embarrassing.
She brought you a goddam meal that she made to celebrate your win. Imagine having someone so unappreciative as you for a partner. I feel for her. YTA.
EtrosGuardian – YTA. Your new coworkers seem to have the right impression about you, honestly. Would you blame mommy if you were getting bullied in school growing up? Your logic is just as immature as their lame remarks.
Reddit User – YTA. Austin & the other coworkers are such childish assholes they probably don’t have a partner to bring them their favorite home cooked meal. I’m from the South and I could tell you a few things you could use to shut them up, but I can’t post them because I would probably get banned because they are not the kind of thing you post in a public forum.
To_tiedye4 – 100% YTA. That was very very sweet what she did. I was taught the way to anyone’s heart is thru their belly… And that’s proven true over and over again. More then likely your co workers are just jealous they don’t have someone bringing them food, let alone a home cooked meal. Guaranteed if she would have brought enough for everyone, they wouldn’t have said shit about mommy other then asking if she can do it more often.
