AITAH for not wanting to hold off on proposing to my boyfriend because it will upset my single sister?
A woman plans to propose to her boyfriend but faces pressure from her family to postpone the engagement because her single sister, who desires to be married, might feel upset.
Despite understanding that her sister may be disappointed, the woman feels it’s unreasonable to delay her own happiness and future plans for someone else’s emotional state. She grapples with her family’s expectations versus her desire to move forward in her relationship.
”AITAH for not wanting to hold off on proposing to my boyfriend because it will upset my single sister?’
I’m want to propose to my boyfriend. When I told my parents they said they were happy for me. However they asked me to hold off. My sister is single. It’s no secret she wants to be married though. I know she has social media accounts like pinterest full of wedding things.
My parents say she’ll be upset if I get engaged when she’s not even in a relationship and that I’m married first because I’m younger. She’s 29 and she’ll be turning 30 around the time I’d be getting married if I go through with my plan to propose.
I actually asked them how it is supposed to work and how long I have to hold off when she’s not even in a relationship. Neither my mom, dad, stepdad and stepmom could answer that.I know she’ll be upset. I don’t believe I should just not propose to him to avoid upsetting her though.
They aren’t using my sister as an excuse because they don’t like my boyfriend. She will be very upset and they do like him. I’m asking if AITAH because I’m getting so much pressure and arguing. I honestly want to know. They weren’t happy when I said I don’t want to hold off.
I was honestly shocked they are asking this of me and that both my mom/stepdad and dad/stepmom said the same thing even though I told them separately and they didn’t talk to each other about it first. Am I wrong for feeling like what they’re asking is insanity and for saying I don’t want to hold off? My boyfriend and I are both 25.
We’ve been together for three years and have lived together for one. We’re employed and financially independent. So it’s not like it’s too early in the relationship or we aren’t established yet. I feel like it’s time for the next step.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
ProposalThrowraAITAH says:
I want to do it in August. I’m going to take him to a Premier League match the day after our anniversary and then to the pub where we had our first date. Somewhere along the way I’ll propose when the moment is right.
badassandfifty says:
This… please OP get engaged. Get married. Live your life.
aspralav says:
It might be helpful to show both sets of parents this post and the comments. Please update us!!! 💗
idontthinksoyo says:
YES PLEASE. Sometimes showing them what a bunch of people outside the situation think about their actions makes them realize they aren’t being…reasonable. Plus we looove us some updates!
Kotori425 says:
Has your family always catered to your sister like this? They try to stop the whole world for her just because she’s sad?? Like what kind of mollycoddling b*llshit -?!
This situation highlights the complexities of family dynamics and individual desires. Is it fair to put one’s happiness on hold for the sake of another’s feelings? What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!
