AITA for refusing to name my son after me?

Family traditions can feel like a warm embrace—until they become an unyielding expectation. In this tale of generational naming customs, one father finds himself caught between honoring a six-generation legacy and forging his own path. The weight of tradition looms large as he reflects on childhood memories of ridicule and the burden of a name he never wanted. This personal history sets the stage for a decision that is as much about identity as it is about family heritage.

Now a new chapter unfolds with the birth of his son, Ezra. Rather than continuing the long-held custom of naming the first-born “William,” he embraces a fresh start. Though he bestows upon his son the middle name William as a nod to tradition, the choice to call him Ezra stirs up strong reactions—and a rift that cuts deep, especially with his own father.

‘AITA for refusing to name my son after me?’

My family have a tradition going back six generations in which the first-born son is named William. My father and I go by our middle names to avoid confusion, whilst my grandfather is known as Bill. It’s not that I don’t like tradition, it’s just that my middle name, James, is the name I’ve always been known as and I always hated being made fun of when I was younger, especially at school when a new teacher would inevitably call out my actual first name when taking the register,

and all of the other kids would laugh at me for trying to explain that I didn’t want to be called that. Now I am an adult, I know that if I wanted to, I could legally change my name by deed poll, but I guess I’ve just got used to the inconvenience, and at this stage of my life, it’s more of a conversation starter if anything else.

I also understand that of all of the things to be made fun of when younger, it’s pretty low down on the list and some people would just say I’m being petty. Anyway, I have recently become a father to a beautiful baby boy and to my family’s horror, we have named him Ezra, which both me and my partner love.

We’ve still given him the middle name William, but this is not good enough for my family who have practically not acknowledged my sons name at all. He’s three months old now and whenever they interact with him, he’s referred to as “Junior or “the child” .

All I really want for Ezra is for him to feel like he’s his own person when he grows up, to not feel like there is some kind of burden on him to live up to any expectations we might have for him like I suppose I’ve always felt somewhat, and to feel comfortable knowing that any decisions he makes, me and his mum will always support him.

This is what makes me stand by our decision, but I can’t help but feel guilt for breaking the tradition, and that there is now a slight rift between me and my family, especially my dad. AITA for not naming my son William?

Letting your partner meet your family can feel like a monumental step in a relationship. In this situation, the decision to choose a name outside of a long-established family pattern is more than a mere preference—it’s a declaration of individuality. The father’s choice to name his son Ezra reflects a careful reconsideration of legacy, where personal identity takes precedence over inherited expectations.

At the heart of the matter is a conflict between honoring cherished traditions and acknowledging the need for personal freedom. The decision to deviate from naming the child William—while still preserving the family name as a middle name—highlights the delicate balancing act many parents face. This choice underlines a desire to prevent future burdens, ensuring that the child grows up free from the weight of unyielding family mandates.

According to Dr. Rachel Sussman, a family therapist, “For many families, a name is more than just a name — it’s a symbol of legacy and continuity. But it’s equally important for parents to feel empowered to choose a name that represents their hopes for their child, not just their family’s expectations.”

Her insight underscores the dual nature of naming: while it can connect us to our heritage, it must also resonate with the personal dreams and challenges of modern life. This perspective helps frame the decision as a step toward nurturing a unique identity.

Broadening the lens, this debate is not isolated to one family alone. In today’s society, more parents are challenging outdated traditions and blending them with contemporary values. Research in developmental psychology suggests that a child’s name can influence self-esteem and identity formation.

As families evolve, the conversation around naming becomes a microcosm of larger societal shifts—where self-expression and individual choice are celebrated alongside respect for history.

Ultimately, the key takeaway is that a name should empower its bearer rather than confine them. The compromise of naming the child Ezra while preserving the traditional middle name William symbolizes a thoughtful reconciliation of old and new.

This decision invites parents everywhere to question which traditions serve their family’s future and which might be reimagined for the sake of personal authenticity. It’s a modern call to balance legacy with liberation, encouraging a nurturing environment where every individual can truly define themselves.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit community couldn’t resist weighing in on this family drama. Their hot takes range from playful jabs to firm advice on asserting boundaries. Some suggest ending calls and visits if the child’s name isn’t respected, while others celebrate the fresh perspective brought by choosing Ezra. These candid and humorous opinions highlight the clash between stubborn tradition and modern freedom, adding a relatable dose of reality to the debate.

CriticalSimple3122 −  NTA You need to initiate consequences for when your extended family don’t use Ezra’s name. End visits, end phone calls, return any cards and gifts not addressed to his actual name.. Congratulations on the new baby.

Judgmental_puffer −  NTA. You and your partner can name your children whatever you like. You did not start this tradition and had no say in it so your family has no say in whether you’d like it going or not. I actually love that you still kept the tradition by giving William as middle nam. That should be plenty enough…. Please don’t feel like the AH for naming your child…

Gennevieve1 −  NTA. “he’s referred to as “Junior or “the child” I suggest you do the same with them. Always refer to them as “the senior” or “THE mother” etc. See how long it takes them to catch on 🙂

leftmysoulthere74 −  Had a similar situation with my ex-in-laws. Won’t go into the details but they had a two-name tradition. You’re allowed to swap the names around but it has to be those two names. My ex and I chose two completely different boys names, he chose a new name because of childhood teasing and I chose a middle name because, well, my baby too right.

Ex-FiL went nuts, said the baby should have one of his names – I pointed out that the surname is his. We had girls anyway so it didn’t matter in the end, but what DID matter was the feeling that my opinion was unimportant and they made me feel like nothing more than an incubator for their grandchildren. I have the last laugh.

The ex and his parents are/were awful people so I experience schadenfreude at the reminder that a laughable name will almost certainly die out with my ex. My point here is, this baby does not just belong in OP’s family – the baby has a mother too, who may have her own traditions or might just want to pluck a name out of nowhere because she likes it. She gets a say too.

FUBAR_1980 −  NTA. I feel for you, we have something similar in my husbands family. The men all have the same middle name. Well I sucked it up for my first son but when my second was born, I wanted a middle name from my side of the family. My FIL went nuts and said son 2 wasn’t his real grandson as he didn’t have the name. I told him he was being ridiculous and to suck it up. He did get over it eventually. He was extremely old fashioned and came from “old” money.

axw3555 −  NTA. Tradition for traditions sake is pointless. And in future, when they call him anything like “junior” or “the child”, end the call, if they’re at your house, make them leave. If you’re not, you leave. Make it clear that if this is their hill to die on, they die alone on it.. Edit: fixed an extra word.

diminishingpatience −  NTA. They should be grateful that they’ve got such good lives if this is all they have to worry about.

random_musician_ −  NTA. Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people, it’s not up to anyone else but you and your partner. Your family refusing to call Ezra by his name is extremely disrespectful and immature.

cedrella_black −  NTA. First, every person (yes, children included!) is entitled to have their own name, and not be Junior, the third, 10th in a row, etc. Of course, you can do the latter but only if you want to. Second of all, it seems your family forgets that despite their traditions, your son has two parents, and unless you are marrying your cousin,

your partner comes from a different family and may not like this tradition at all. She is entitled to veto a name as an equal partner, and, you know, the person carrying the baby and giving birth.

macdanborg −  NTA It’s your child and Ezra is a bomb name. As far as I am aware, your family are being donks and that’s on them because it will come back to bite them in the b**t when Ezra doesn’t want to be close with them because they refuse to be respectful. I mean, if he wants to go by William or another name later, cool. But for now, Ezra it is.

In conclusion, while family traditions provide a comforting link to our past, they should never constrain personal choice or individuality. This story challenges us to consider when it’s time to honor heritage and when it’s okay to pave a new path. What would you do if you found yourself caught between deeply rooted traditions and your own modern values? Share your thoughts and join the discussion below!