AITA for telling my wife to please get the hell out of my way?

Relationships thrive on small acts of kindness — but what happens when those sweet gestures become a daily source of frustration? One man’s attempt to politely navigate life with his well-meaning wife has sparked a heated debate online. Can kindness ever cross the line into being… annoying?

A viral post from Reddit’s AITA forum tells the story of a husband who finally snapped after his wife’s habit of holding doors — while simultaneously blocking the doorway — pushed him to his breaking point. What started as a small quirk turned into a full-on airport standoff, leaving the couple at odds.

‘AITA for telling my wife to please get the hell out of my way?’

I was raised to always be helpful and polite. I like to hold the door open for people, as an example. I always try to treat my wife with respect. She is a good person but even if she weren’t I would. She has been trying to be like me lately. And it’s driving me nuts. She cannot understand the Time Cop rule that two bits of matter cannot occupy the same space.

She will hold the door for me then stand in the way. When I hold the door for her I stand to the side so she can pass. She cannot seem to get this concept. I have had to start traveling for work and she drives me to the airport. I could Uber but she says she likes the drive. We always stop for breakfast on the way so it’s a way for us to sneak in one more date before I’m gone for a while.

So I will have my backpack on and my rolling luggage in my hand. She will open the door go through and hold the storm door. But she will fully stand in the way. I have explained the concept of standing to the side. I’ve asked her to please just go through and I will deal. I’ve tried leaving before her so I can deal.

I’ve even tried just standing inches away as she holds the door and I cannot move forward. Nothing works. I was in a hurry yesterday because my flight was changed. We could still stop for breakfast but we didn’t have much leeway. And she would not get out of the way. I lost my coolmand asked her to please get the hell out of the way because I needed to get to the car.

She is mad at me and has brought up my rudeness at both our calls since she dropped me off. I think that I have been very patient and she should have taken the hint before now.

What seems like a minor annoyance can actually reveal deeper dynamics in a relationship. According to Dr. Lisa Firestone, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert, repetitive behaviors can trigger larger emotional responses. “Small habits like standing in the doorway can represent a lack of awareness about a partner’s needs,” she explains. “When those needs aren’t acknowledged over time, it can feel like a form of dismissal — even if the intention was never malicious.”

The frustration here stems from the intersection of thoughtfulness and cluelessness. The wife clearly wants to show kindness by holding the door, but her failure to step aside leaves her husband feeling unseen and exasperated. It’s a classic case of good intentions clashing with poor execution.

This dynamic isn’t uncommon. A 2023 survey by YouGov found that 62% of couples report feeling irritated by their partner’s small, repeated habits — even when those habits come from a place of love.

Dr. Firestone suggests that the key to resolving these tensions is communication. “It’s important to explain why the action is frustrating rather than just expressing anger. Framing the issue around your own feelings rather than your partner’s flaws can help them understand without feeling attacked.”

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Many users sympathized with the husband’s frustration, with one commenter joking, “Holding the door is great — unless you’re guarding it like the final boss in a video game.” Others pointed out that the husband’s delivery could have been more tactful, with one suggesting, “A little less ‘get the hell out of my way’ and a little more ‘love, could you scoot over?’ might have saved him a lot of grief.”

kurokomainu −  NTA with hindsight, leaving the word “hell” out would have been best (not just because it’s rude but it gives her something to latch onto, which deflects from the fact that you are right to be frustrated with her behavior, flipping things so you are in the wrong for that one word), but given that she has ignored your attempts to solve this problem multiple times I can understand your frustration.

Have you tried directly asking her to literally explain how you can get through the door with her standing right in the way? Perhaps if you ask her to stay just where she is and explain to you what you have to do to get through the door you might finally get through to her. (Or not.)

[Reddit User] −  Just going off what you said NTA though her behavior is perplexing me, because I genuinely cannot comprehend anyone older than a toddler not knowing how to hold open a door. Is there some underlying issue here and she’s using the door thing to be passive aggressive? Idk, she’s acting weird.. Edit: Spelling

False-Leg-5752 −  NTA My dad used to do this all the time. It pisses me off to no end. Once we were doing some house work and I was carrying an 80lb bag on concrete through a door. My dad (not carrying anything) would not get out of the way. Even after asking him to move he just wouldn’t. No malice or anything – he just can’t understand that he needs to get out of the way for other people.

Anyways I ended up dropping the bag trying to get around him and broke my foot. I got angry enough that he sure as f**k gets out of the way now. Your wife will remember this and move out of the way from now on. She won’t be happy about it but she won’t keep being inconsiderate.

There’s this pervasive mentality that you need to be kind and gentle with everyone at all moments so as to never have someone experience a negative feeling because of you. But sometimes it’s necessary to get angry to properly express yourself and have the other person recognize those emotions. Anger and frustration are emotions that exist for a reason. It’s not right to stuff them down because you never want another person to feel bad.

Hopeful-Material4123 −  I probably would not have cussed but I definitely would have been frustrated as ever and would have told her to move. I don’t understand why she just stands there? INFO please: does she just stand and stare at you? Why does she just stand there? Given that you said you have tried multiple times to tell her, and even offered to uber, I am gonna go with flat NTA. That behavior would make me crazy.

No_Lavishness_3206 −  NTA. Just start doing it to her. Just stand in the way facing her and don’t move. Make her choose between squeezing around you and telling you to move. Then ask her why since it’s how she does it.  

JurassicParkFood −  NTA – notice how in the story, the wife never changes, admits she’s wrong, or recognizes ANYTHING she’s done. However, she’s unable to drop when she feels slighted. This type of person is EXHAUSTING. A brief verbal snapping isn’t great, but the words clearly don’t get through her constant need to be right about everything.

InnocentKit −  NTA, It took me 8 years to finally win this battle with my partner, so maybe I’m biased, but opening the door and then standing in it is about as infuriating as it gets, after the millionth time explaining somthing to no avail, it seems reasonable to loose your cool a bit.

If OPs wife reads this, when you are getting the door for others it’s so that THEY can get through it first, and to accommodate such actions, open the door allll the way and stand to one side of the door frame or the other. Once the persons made it through the door you can step through as well, while pulling the door shut behind you, it’s polite and helpful without getting in anyone’s way.

tigotter −  Ok, after reading all the comments and suggestions, here’s mine. When your wife walks through the door, maybe she stops so that you can grab the door before it slams in your face, not realizing that she’s in your way. Maybe you could say “thanks, I’ve got it”, without attitude. That might prompt her to move on.

Or, you could maybe say “watch out, Hon”, again, without attitude. Or, one last suggestion, maybe you could be one step ahead of her and say “Hon, could you get the door for me?”, which might prompt her to open the door and step aside while still holding the door. Ok, I’m done. Hope these help.

CantStopThisShizz −  First off, let me just say that you two seem like a delightful couple that really love each other. You remind me a bit of me. I have autism, and I’m pretty particular about all things basically, and I don’t always have a lot of tact when I say things. You were a bit of the a**hole here, it’s all in your delivery.

I totally relate to your situation and being frustrated, because I would have been. One of my triggers is people being in my way. But it’s all in how you deliver the message. It was okay to be annoyed, but you should try to have a bit more tact next time.  It really seems like you both value each other. I’d feel pretty special that my gal was trying to open the door for me and treat me with that sort of kindness 💜

MagHntr −  NTA you can explain the nice way 100 times and it will never sink in. Maybe now she will understand? My wife is horrible for standing in a door way or blocking my path when doing something usually carrying something heavy. Some people never catch on.

When it comes to small habits in relationships, where’s the line between charming quirks and maddening behavior? Should the husband have kept his cool, or was his outburst long overdue? Let us know what you think in the comments below — and share your own stories of small habits that drive you absolutely up the wall!