Husband: “Don’t make me SLAP you to bring you back to your senses.”

Parenting can be tough, especially when it comes to handling picky eaters. But what happens when a parent’s strict discipline turns into verbal and emotional abuse? OP (31F) has two young children (3 and 5) who are typical picky eaters. She has done extensive research, consulted feeding therapists, and implemented expert-recommended strategies to ensure her kids have a healthy relationship with food.

Her husband (44M), however, refuses to listen. He forcefully demands the children eat everything on their plate, disregards OP’s approach, and creates stressful mealtimes filled with tension and fear. The situation escalated when he became aggressive toward OP, accused her of “going behind his back,” and even threatened to slap her to bring her to her senses. Now, OP is questioning the future of their marriage. Is this strict parenting, or is it crossing the line into abuse?

‘Husband: “Don’t make me SLAP you to bring you back to your senses.”‘

Expert Opinion:

Why Forcing Kids to Eat is Dangerous

According to pediatric psychologists, forcing children to finish meals can lead to serious long-term issues, including:

• Disordered eating habits – Ignoring hunger/fullness cues can cause overeating, food aversions, or emotional eating.
• Increased mealtime anxiety – Children may develop fear and stress around food, associating meals with punishment instead of nourishment.
• Loss of autonomy – Kids need some control over their food choices to develop a healthy relationship with eating.

Studies show that children forced to eat tend to become pickier and develop more eating struggles later in life.

When Parenting Turns into Emotional Abuse

While many parents believe in strict discipline, authoritarian parenting methods can become harmful—especially when a child’s emotions and autonomy are completely disregarded.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Laura Markham states that authoritative (not authoritarian) parenting is the healthiest approach. It involves:

• Setting boundaries with empathy
• Encouraging independence while providing guidance
• Avoiding fear-based or control-driven methods

In OP’s case, her husband’s reaction—yelling, demanding, and controlling—is a major red flag. His anger, mockery, and threats toward OP also indicate psychological abuse, which often escalates over time.

Threats of Violence Are Not “Discipline”

Threatening to slap OP to “bring her to her senses” is not strict parenting—it’s abuse. The National Domestic Violence Hotline states that threats of physical harm, even if not acted upon, are still forms of abuse.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Most Redditors agree: OP’s husband is NOT just a “strict parent”—he is an abuser. His rigid control over mealtime, emotional manipulation, and threats of physical violence are serious red flags.

For the children, this level of strictness can lead to long-term trauma. For OP, the emotional abuse and threats of violence indicate a dangerous pattern that could escalate.

Strict parenting is one thing. Toxic control and intimidation are another.

What do you think? Should OP take action for the safety of herself and her children? Share your thoughts below.