AITA for telling my family it’s not my fault I’m not a twin
Is it wrong to want your family to celebrate you when they’ve spent years obsessing over your siblings? OP (17M) grew up as the only singleton in a family obsessed with twins. His parents underwent fertility treatments and had two sets of non-identical boy/girl twins, Max & Amy (older) and Jace & Lacy (younger). Because of this, OP’s family treated their births, milestones, and achievements like once-in-a-lifetime events.
Meanwhile, OP was constantly overlooked. His birthdays were downplayed, his achievements ignored, and his graduation was dismissed entirely—all because he wasn’t part of a “special twin duo.” When he finally stood up for himself, his family accused him of being jealous, manipulative, and gaslighting them. Was OP wrong to want the same support as his siblings, or is his family playing favorites?
‘AITA for telling my family it’s not my fault I’m not a twin’
Expert Opinion:
Being the ‘Unfavored Child’ Leaves Lasting Scars
Parental favoritism isn’t just hurtful in the moment—it has long-term effects on self-esteem, relationships, and mental health. Dr. Karl Pillemer, a family sociologist, found that children who experience extreme favoritism often develop:
- Lower self-worth and persistent feelings of inadequacy
- Resentment and emotional distance from their family
- Difficulty forming healthy relationships later in life (Source)
OP’s entire childhood revolved around his siblings, while he was treated as an afterthought. His frustration is justified, and his family’s refusal to acknowledge the favoritism only makes it worse.
Twins Aren’t ‘Better’ Than Singletons—But OP’s Family Acts Like They Are
Twins are common with fertility treatments, but their rarity within a family doesn’t make them more valuable than a singleton child. Yet OP’s parents built an entire family culture around the “twin phenomenon”, completely disregarding his needs.
If OP’s parents truly wanted a big, happy family, why did they emotionally neglect the one child who didn’t fit their “special twin narrative”?
How OP Can Move Forward
- He deserves validation – OP isn’t being dramatic; his feelings of neglect are real and justified.
- His family won’t change overnight – Confronting them was brave, but they likely won’t acknowledge their bias unless they face long-term consequences (like OP going low-contact).
- Building a support system matters – If his biological family won’t support him, OP should find community elsewhere—friends, mentors, or chosen family who appreciate him.
This isn’t about jealousy—it’s about basic emotional needs that OP’s family has ignored for years.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
Most Redditors fully support OP and recognize that his family severely neglected him in favor of his twin siblings. Wanting to be acknowledged and celebrated isn’t “jealousy” or “manipulation”—it’s basic human nature.
OP’s best path forward is to invest in people who truly value him and distance himself from his family’s toxic favoritism. His achievements deserve to be celebrated, with or without them.
What do you think? Should OP continue trying to get his family to see their favoritism, or is it time for him to move on? Share your thoughts below!