AITA for refusing to visit my MIL after she fat shamed me following the birth of my baby?
Welcoming your first baby is one of life’s most joyous milestones—but it can also bring unexpected challenges when family dynamics come into play. In this heartfelt story, a 26‑year‑old new mom shares how her mother‑in‑law’s insensitive remarks about postpartum weight and running upended what should have been a time of celebration.
Amid all the joy of holding her tiny bundle of love, she’s also battling old wounds from a past eating disorder. Even as she navigates the beautiful yet exhausting world of new motherhood, the sting of hurtful comments cuts deep, forcing her to reconsider who she allows into her healing space.
Her mother‑in‑law’s offhand quip—loudly questioning whether she should start running by “walking”—was not just a harmless observation. It came in front of the whole family and reopened painful memories from her teen years. With her husband fully in her corner, she’s now drawn a hard line, determined to protect her mental and physical well‑being. The question remains: Am I the asshole for distancing myself from someone who constantly undermines my self‐worth?
‘AITA for refusing to visit my MIL after she fat shamed me following the birth of my baby?’
When sensitive topics such as body image and postpartum recovery come into play, the need for empathy and understanding cannot be overstated. Dr. Emily Harrington, a clinical psychologist specializing in postpartum care, explains, “Comments that target a person’s body, especially during vulnerable times, can trigger deep-seated insecurities and hinder recovery.”
In this case, the mother-in-law’s remark about starting with walking wasn’t just a casual suggestion—it was a painful reminder of past eating disorder struggles that continue to affect her self-esteem. For new mothers, reclaiming one’s body after childbirth is a delicate process.
Even when medically cleared to resume activities like running, the emotional residue of earlier negative experiences can cast a long shadow. Experts emphasize that supportive comments from family members can make a significant difference in a new mom’s recovery. Instead, hurtful, unsolicited advice can leave lasting scars.
Dr. Harrington further notes that “Setting clear boundaries with those who consistently make one feel diminished is a healthy and necessary step toward self-care.” In family settings, particularly during events like visits or celebrations, the balance between sharing joy and respecting personal boundaries is key. The new mom in this story has every right to decide who gets to be part of her world.
When her mother-in-law’s remarks extend beyond mere commentary and tip into the territory of emotional insensitivity, it not only affects her mood but can also impact her ability to bond with her child in a supportive environment. Listening to her husband’s supportive voice and trusting her own feelings are crucial steps in maintaining her mental health and nurturing her baby in a positive atmosphere.
Moreover, experts suggest that family members who are unaware of the triggers associated with past trauma need gentle education. A proactive conversation, perhaps mediated by a family counselor, might help explain why comments—even if meant as jokes—can be deeply hurtful. By fostering open, honest dialogue, families can learn to celebrate new beginnings without unintentionally reopening old wounds.
Ultimately, while running and physical fitness are personal pursuits, the conversation around them in a family setting must be handled with care. What might be intended as playful banter can quickly transform into a source of anxiety and self-doubt when it touches on past vulnerabilities. In such cases, establishing boundaries isn’t about rejecting family altogether; it’s about ensuring that every member’s journey toward healing is respected and supported.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
The Reddit community was swift to support the new mom’s stance. Many commented that her mother-in-law’s behavior was not only insensitive but downright harmful. One user wrote, “Commenting on your body right after childbirth is a sure-fire way to reopen old wounds,” while another pointed out that it’s completely valid to distance yourself from anyone who makes you feel less-than.
Others shared personal experiences of how similar comments triggered lasting pain, echoing sentiments of “NTA—you deserve to protect your well-being.” The overall consensus was clear: when your healing is at stake, setting boundaries is not just acceptable—it’s necessary.
Navigating new motherhood is challenging enough without the added pressure of hurtful family comments. This story is a powerful reminder that while family connections are important, your mental and emotional health must come first.
If someone’s words continually chip away at your self-esteem, it’s okay to step back and set boundaries—even with close family members. What do you think? Have you ever had to draw a line with someone to protect your well-being? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below, and let’s discuss how to build supportive, compassionate family environments.