AITA for refusing to pay “my fair share” of drinks when I don’t drink?

Last weekend’s bachelorette bash in Vegas turned into an unexpected lesson in splitting bills—and in setting clear expectations. The night was filled with glitzy outings: a fancy steakhouse dinner, a wild club scene with overpriced drinks, and a custom mocktail that set one guest apart from the rest.

As a non-drinker who hadn’t touched alcohol since college, I assumed our pre-trip agreement meant splitting only the food bill. After all, I only ordered a $20–25 mocktail and a sparkling water while the rest of the group indulged in champagne and cocktails.

But when I received a Venmo request for $470, I was floored. What I thought was a fair share of about $60–70 ballooned into a charge that made me feel like I’d been completely fleeced. It turned out that while we all were supposed to split the bill, the lack of detailed receipts muddled what was really owed—especially since the bride’s share of drinks was unexpectedly included.

‘AITA for refusing to pay “my fair share” of drinks when I don’t drink?’

When it comes to group outings, clear communication about splitting expenses is absolutely critical. Financial expert Dave Ramsey once said, “Always be clear about what you’re paying for. Splitting bills should reflect individual consumption rather than a blanket division of the total.” In our situation, the assumption was that we were only dividing the cost of shared appetizers, not the entire alcohol tab—especially when a non-drinker is involved.

The confusion began with a vague agreement. While most of us were busy ordering multiple bottles of champagne and cocktails, I stuck to my custom mocktail and sparkling water. When the bill arrived, the total was $470—a figure that, on paper, suggested each person should contribute roughly $94.

Yet, my recollection of the appetizers and my drink didn’t come anywhere close to that amount. This discrepancy underlines a common pitfall in group spending: failing to itemize what each person actually ordered.

Many social gatherings fall prey to the “split-it-all” mentality, where the entire bill is divided evenly regardless of individual consumption. This approach might seem fair on the surface but can lead to significant disparities when some members of the group aren’t partaking in all activities—like drinking, in my case.

Instead, a fairer method would be to separate the bill into food and drinks, with each person only paying for what they actually consumed. As Ramsey points out, fairness in financial matters is best maintained when agreements are specific and transparent.

In the aftermath of the confusion, I managed to get an itemized receipt which clarified that my actual share, including tip, was just $81. This not only highlighted the error in the initial calculation but also reinforced the importance of keeping track of receipts. Without documentation, a vague “we agreed to split everything” can easily turn into a one-sided burden.

This situation serves as a cautionary tale: if you’re heading out with a group, especially in a high-spending environment like Vegas, be explicit about which parts of the bill you’re willing to share. A simple conversation beforehand can save you from a financial headache later.

Ultimately, the mix-up wasn’t about being cheap—it was about ensuring fairness in an environment where spending can quickly spiral out of control. It’s a reminder that in group events, especially those with diverse spending habits, clear communication and accurate record-keeping are key to avoiding disputes. Even in a fun, celebratory atmosphere, financial clarity should never be overlooked.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit community was quick to weigh in. One user noted, “As a non-drinker, you shouldn’t be expected to subsidize everyone else’s boozy night out,” echoing my own frustration. Another pointed out that splitting the bill evenly in such scenarios is outdated and often unfair.

Many agreed that the responsibility lies with the person who handled the bill to provide an itemized breakdown. Comments ranged from “NTA—your share should reflect what you consumed” to “If they can’t provide clear numbers, don’t let them take advantage of you.” Overall, the consensus was that my stance was entirely justified, and that transparency is key in these situations.

This experience has underscored a crucial lesson: when planning group outings, especially in environments like Vegas where costs can soar, always nail down the details in advance. Fairness means paying for what you actually consume—not footing someone else’s bill by default. Have you ever encountered a similar mix-up at a group event? How did you handle it? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—your story might just help someone avoid a similar billing nightmare.