AITA for calling a coworker snarky when she said I gained weight?

It’s incredible how something as routine as lunch with a coworker can flip from pleasant to awkward in the blink of an eye. One moment, you’re chatting casually; the next, you’re grappling with a backhanded comment about your weight. That’s precisely what happened to one Reddit user who lost a significant amount of weight—only to have a coworker brush off her achievement in a surprisingly snide way.

Amidst the highs of a healthier lifestyle and improved self-esteem, nothing stings quite like an unexpected jab. Our Reddit storyteller found herself labeled as a “fisher for compliments,” with a healthy dose of rudeness heaped onto her sense of accomplishment. But did calling the coworker “snarky” really cross the line, or was it a fair reaction to a hostile remark?

‘AITA for calling a coworker snarky when she said I gained weight?’

Before we dig deeper into the lessons behind this workplace clash, here’s the original Reddit post capturing it all:

Navigating professional relationships often calls for a delicate balance of cordiality and boundaries. Toss in personal milestones like weight loss, and you’ve got a recipe for an emotionally charged dynamic. In this instance, our OP (Original Poster) felt deeply hurt by someone who seemed to downplay her success.

According to Dr. Caroline Apovian, Director of the Nutrition and Weight Management Center at Boston Medical Center, “Weight loss can be an intensely personal journey. When others invalidate that journey, it can undermine someone’s hard-earned confidence.”

Workplace interactions are complicated by a variety of emotions—jealousy, insecurity, or even misguided humor. Sometimes, comments that sound like teasing are actually reflective of deeper issues, such as envy or discomfort with someone else’s transformation. Experts note that people who face these reactions might find it beneficial to maintain clear boundaries and remind themselves that another person’s snark often stems from their own insecurities rather than any wrongdoing by the individual who lost weight.

Interestingly, the situation also speaks to broader social norms around body image. Society often lauds weight loss success but also stumbles when confronted by rapid or dramatic transformations. Harvard Health Publishing highlights the importance of having a supportive network during one’s wellness journey, emphasizing empathy and open conversation. Without those, even well-meaning remarks can turn sour, morphing into “concerns” or casual digs about gaining a pound or two. Over time, such negativity can strain both personal and professional relationships.

So how can someone respond if they find themselves belittled or “called out” for changes in their appearance? Professionals like Dr. Apovian suggest calmly stating your feelings, reminding the other person that the conversation is hurtful and unwelcome. If the dynamic fails to improve, it might be wise to limit personal disclosures and focus on neutral topics. In a workplace setting, you can also consult a manager or HR if the comments persist. After all, everyone deserves to feel proud and supported on their health journey.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Here are some highlights from the Reddit thread—opinions and perspectives that show just how complex this issue can get:

From envy-driven speculation to calls for distancing oneself from toxic coworkers, the Reddit community doesn’t hold back. Some strongly believe the coworker’s hostility stems from personal insecurity, while others advise keeping things strictly professional from now on.

At the end of the day, weight loss—or any significant personal transformation—can be a sensitive topic, especially in a professional setting. While seeking camaraderie is natural, establishing clear boundaries is often the healthiest route when snarky remarks come into play. That said, we’d love to know: Have you ever experienced an offhand comment about your personal accomplishments that left you rattled? If so, how did you handle it? Jump into the discussion and share your stories or tips. After all, understanding each other’s viewpoints might just help us cultivate kinder, more supportive spaces—both in and out of the office.