AITA for calling out my sister for br**stfeeding at my wedding?
Ah, weddings—the pinnacle of carefully orchestrated events where every detail is meticulously planned, from the floral arrangements to the seating chart. But what happens when an unexpected element disrupts the vision? Enter the unscheduled guest: an infant with a perfectly reasonable yet highly inconvenient need to eat.
For OP, this was more than just a minor hiccup. His sister, a new mother, brought her two-month-old baby to his wedding and—shockingly—breastfed on demand. This wasn’t new behavior; OP had seen her do this at family gatherings, public outings, and even their parents’ house. But at his wedding, with 250 guests watching, OP decided he had had enough. His request? A simple compromise: a bottle for the night.
Her response? A firm no. What followed was a familial divide, with OP finding himself alone in his frustration. But was his reaction justified, or was he indeed the AH, as his wife, parents, and seemingly everyone else insisted?
‘AITA for calling out my sister for br**stfeeding at my wedding?’
Expert Opinion:
The controversy surrounding public breastfeeding has been debated extensively, often revealing societal discomfort with women exercising bodily autonomy. In OP’s case, the primary conflict stems from his perception of breastfeeding as inappropriate at a formal event, clashing with his sister’s view that feeding her baby is a non-negotiable necessity.
Understanding the Core Conflict:
A key misunderstanding in OP’s frustration is the assumption that breastfeeding is a matter of choice rather than necessity. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), newborns require frequent feeding—up to 12 times a day—due to their small stomach capacity. Disrupting this routine can be stressful for both the baby and the mother.
Additionally, studies from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) indicate that forcing a breastfed baby to switch to formula or bottle-feeding can result in rejection, digestive issues, and supply problems for the mother.
Furthermore, OP’s suggestion that his sister “compromise” ignores the fact that pumping milk is not a simple alternative. Research published by the Journal of Human Lactation highlights that some women find pumping painful, inefficient, and emotionally draining. The assumption that she should have simply pumped for convenience fails to acknowledge these biological and practical realities.
Expert Insights:
Dr. Laura Riley, an OB-GYN and maternal health expert at Weill Cornell Medicine, states: “Breastfeeding is often misunderstood by those who haven’t experienced it. While some mothers find it easy to switch between breast and bottle, others struggle with supply issues and baby rejection. Public breastfeeding is not a statement; it’s a necessity.”
Additionally, a 2021 study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) emphasizes that societal stigma around breastfeeding in public contributes to unnecessary maternal stress, leading some women to stop breastfeeding earlier than recommended. OP’s reaction is a textbook example of this pressure—placing etiquette over infant well-being.
Proposed Solutions and Takeaways:
For those navigating similar social situations, here are some key takeaways:
- Recognize Necessity Over Preference – Babies need to eat frequently, and mothers cannot always plan around rigid social schedules. Understanding this reality fosters empathy.
- Respect Bodily Autonomy – A mother’s right to feed her child should not be dictated by others’ comfort levels. If someone is uncomfortable, they can look away.
- Shift Social Norms – Instead of treating breastfeeding as an intrusion, normalizing it can lead to a more inclusive and understanding culture.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
OP’s frustration, while understandable from a wedding-planning perspective, fails to acknowledge the biological realities of breastfeeding and the autonomy of his sister as a mother. With even his wife and parents siding against him, it’s clear that societal norms are shifting towards greater acceptance of breastfeeding in public.
What do you think? Should OP have handled it differently, or do formal events warrant a different level of discretion?