AITA for laughing at my brother’s girlfriend’s psychoanalysis of me?

At seventeen, our poster’s passion for collecting colognes isn’t just a quirky hobby—it’s a full-blown lifestyle. With over 30 full‐sized bottles and more than 50 sample decants, he curates an ever-changing olfactory palette that keeps him exploring new scents.

For him, the thrill lies in the endless quest for that “perfect” fragrance rather than settling on one that might feel “enough.” His interests aren’t fueled by privilege but by genuine enthusiasm, supported by gifts from friends, smart trades, and even free samples courtesy of a popular TikTok review page.

Yet during a house tour with his brother’s girlfriend, his passion was suddenly misconstrued. When she suggested that his ever-changing scent collection might mirror an inability to commit romantically, a spark of laughter—and a pointed remark about psychological analogies—set off an unexpected conflict. This incident brings to light not only the misunderstandings around personal hobbies but also how quick judgments can expose deeper insecurities.

‘AITA for laughing at my brother’s girlfriend’s psychoanalysis of me?’

Blending personal interests with relationship expectations is a recipe for miscommunication. In this case, the girlfriend’s analogy—linking a hobby with romantic commitment—oversimplifies the complexities of human behavior. As renowned cognitive therapist Dr. David Burns once explained, “Projection occurs when people attribute to others feelings they are unwilling to acknowledge in themselves.” This insight suggests that her comment might be less about my personal choices and more about her own insecurities or past experiences.

A closer look reveals that collecting cologne is fundamentally an exploration of sensory pleasure and personal taste. Just as one might sample different cuisines or art styles, seeking out new scents is an expression of individuality. It does not necessarily correlate with the way one handles relationships.

Some psychologists argue that such behaviors are often misinterpreted when viewed through the lens of projection. When someone criticizes another’s interests, it can sometimes be a defense mechanism—a way to deflect from unresolved issues within their own life.

Furthermore, the analogy fails under scrutiny because it conflates an inanimate object’s properties (scents) with the dynamics of human emotion and commitment. While a fragrance is fleeting and changeable, personal relationships require deeper emotional investment and continuity. By comparing the two, the analogy not only oversimplifies but also unfairly judges a harmless hobby.

In dissecting this incident, it becomes clear that my passion for colognes is driven by a desire for aesthetic and sensory variety—a pursuit of personal satisfaction. This exploration does not automatically translate to instability in romantic relationships.

The conflict here reflects broader societal issues: the tendency to label and judge based on superficial comparisons rather than understanding the nuanced nature of individual interests. Ultimately, healthy relationships—whether with a partner or with a personal hobby—thrive on authenticity and open communication.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Across various online platforms, commenters broadly condemned the girlfriend’s assumption. Many argued that having a diverse interest in scents does not equate to a lack of commitment in relationships. The consensus was that the comparison was both reductive and unfair.

Some warned that her comment might even be a projection of her own personal insecurities, while others simply found humor in the absurdity of linking fragrance exploration with romantic fidelity. Overall, the community agreed that my passion for colognes is simply that—a passion—and not an indicator of any negative behavior in my personal life.

In the end, this incident highlights how easily a personal hobby can be misinterpreted when filtered through assumptions and stereotypes. It serves as a reminder that interests—whether in colognes, music, or art—are a part of who we are, not a measure of our capacity for commitment. What do you think? Can a passion for exploring new scents coexist with meaningful relationships, or is there merit to the analogy? Share your thoughts and join the conversation in the comments below!