AITA for telling my dad’s mistress and now wife that she’s disgusting and repulsive to try and use a kid to her advantage during her affair?

The fallout from a parent’s betrayal can echo through a family in unexpected and deeply painful ways. In this turbulent narrative, a teenage boy recounts how his dad’s mistress—Cheryl, once trusted as a close family friend—crossed a line by trying to manipulate him during her illicit affair. As the youngest in the family, he was put in a position no child should ever face: being used as a pawn to maintain favor with his siblings and cover up the betrayal. The emotional burden placed on him was overwhelming, turning a complicated family secret into a source of personal torment.

The situation escalated when, at the mall, Cheryl’s relentless pursuit forced him to finally push back. In a moment of raw honesty, he told her she was “disgusting and repulsive” for trying to use him to her advantage during her affair with his dad. This declaration sparked outrage on both sides of the family, raising the question: Am I the a**hole for standing up against such manipulation?

‘AITA for telling my dad’s mistress and now wife that she’s disgusting and repulsive to try and use a kid to her advantage during her affair?’

Child psychologist Dr. Elaine Michaels explains that involving a minor in adult conflicts—especially those as emotionally charged as an extramarital affair—can have profound and long-lasting impacts on a young person’s psychological well-being. “When adults use children as pawns or emotional buffers in their personal disputes, it can shatter the child’s sense of security and self-worth,” she notes.

In this case, Cheryl’s decision to confide in you about the affair, hoping that your siblings would continue to favor her, is a textbook example of emotional manipulation. Such behavior not only places an unfair burden on a child but also risks distorting their understanding of trust and loyalty.

Dr. Michaels further asserts that forcing a child to choose sides in a family conflict undermines their emotional development. The resulting stress can manifest in anxiety, depression, and difficulties in forming healthy relationships later in life. The harassment you’ve experienced—evidenced by the barrage of text messages after your public stand—only intensifies these risks, potentially leading to feelings of isolation and betrayal.

“It’s crucial for children to be shielded from the fallout of adult decisions,” Dr. Michaels emphasizes. “Your reaction, though harsh, is a protective response to an environment that continually violates a child’s right to a safe and nurturing space.” In sum, setting boundaries against such manipulation is not only justified but essential for preserving your mental health and future well-being.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Many redditors agree that you were entirely justified in your response. Commenters condemned Cheryl’s manipulative tactics and the reprehensible decision to involve you in adult affairs. They echoed that no child should ever be put in the position of managing family secrets or mediating conflict, and praised your stand against such exploitation. The consensus is that your reaction, though strong, is a necessary declaration of personal boundaries against inappropriate behavior.

In conclusion, this story underscores the critical importance of protecting children from the collateral damage of adult conflicts. By refusing to be manipulated and calling out the exploitation, you have taken a brave stand for your own dignity and well-being.

This situation prompts a broader conversation: How can families ensure that children are not used as tools in resolving adult disputes? What measures should be taken to prevent the emotional abuse of minors in complex family dynamics? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your perspective matters in this important discussion.