AITA for rejecting a disabled girl’s prom asking?

Public proposals are always risky. When done right, they’re a grand romantic gesture. But when done wrong—especially without prior discussion—they can put someone in an impossible position. What happens when saying “no” would make you the most hated person in the room?

That’s exactly what happened to one high school senior, who found himself cornered into accepting a prom invite from a classmate with cerebral palsy. With an entire classroom watching, cameras recording, and no way to escape, he said yes—only to later break the news privately that he already had someone else in mind. The fallout? Tears, judgment, and a teacher’s aide who made him feel like the worst person in the world.

‘AITA for rejecting a disabled girl’s prom asking?’

Expert Analysis:

Why Public Proposals Are a Bad Idea

Public proposals—whether for prom or marriage—create an environment where one party feels immense pressure to say yes, regardless of their true feelings. According to Dr. Joshua Klapow, a clinical psychologist, “public proposals can trigger performance anxiety and force people into making choices they wouldn’t otherwise make in private.”

This is exactly what happened to OP. Given the overwhelming social expectation to accept, he felt he had no choice but to agree in the moment.

Was It Wrong to Say Yes Then No?

While some might argue that OP gave false hope by initially accepting, behavioral psychologists suggest that in high-pressure social situations, people often comply to avoid immediate distress. Dr. Susan Newman, a social psychologist, explains that “the fear of public judgment can override personal desires, leading individuals to make split-second decisions that don’t reflect their true intent.”

OP’s instinct to handle the rejection in private was actually the more compassionate choice. Publicly rejecting the girl could have led to even greater embarrassment and emotional distress.

Disability, Social Perception, and Unintentional Guilt-Tripping

The added layer of disability complicates things. While inclusivity is important, treating someone with a disability differently—such as feeling obligated to say yes because of their condition—can actually be patronizing.

As disability rights advocate Dr. Thomas Hehir states, “true equality means allowing individuals with disabilities to experience the same social challenges as everyone else, including rejection.”

By asking OP in a grand public setting, the girl and those who helped set up the promposal unintentionally created a situation where he had no good way out.

Here’s what Redditors had to say about OP’s situation:

Most users agreed that OP was placed in a no-win situation and handled it as respectfully as possible. Many criticized the adults involved, stating that a teacher or aide should have advised against such a public promposal.

Public proposals—especially without prior discussion—put unnecessary pressure on both parties. Saying yes out of obligation only leads to greater heartbreak later. While rejection is painful, handling it privately is often the kinder approach.

What do you think? Should OP have just gone with her to spare her feelings, or was he right to be honest? Let us know in the comments!