AITA for not taking a “special request” from my wife while cooking the family breakfast?
Sometimes, the smallest acts of kindness in a relationship mean the most. It’s not about the eggs—it’s about thoughtfulness, appreciation, and effort.
OP spent the morning cooking an elaborate breakfast for his family during a planned “family bonding day.” But when his wife, who does most of the cooking in their home, asked him to make two extra over-easy eggs for her, he refused, telling her she could make them herself. What started as a simple request turned into an unnecessary argument, leaving OP wondering if he was wrong for not going the extra mile.
‘AITA for not taking a “special request” from my wife while cooking the family breakfast?’
Expert Analysis
The Power of Small Acts in a Relationship
According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned marriage expert, happy relationships thrive on small, everyday acts of love and consideration. It’s not grand gestures, but little things—like making a cup of coffee or cooking a simple egg—that show care. The fact that OP’s wife does 75% of the cooking makes this refusal not just about the eggs, but about a lack of appreciation.
Missed Opportunity for Connection
OP had planned a “family bonding day”, yet he turned what could have been a moment of kindness into a petty standoff. This decision didn’t just disappoint his wife—it also set a poor example for their kids, reinforcing the idea that small efforts for loved ones aren’t important.
Relationship therapist Esther Perel states, “When partners refuse small requests, it’s not about the inconvenience—it’s about what the refusal represents: a lack of willingness to prioritize the other person’s needs.”
A Lesson in Priorities
Marriage isn’t about keeping score or picking battles over minor inconveniences. The time OP spent arguing about the eggs could have been spent cooking them several times over. If he were the one asking for something small, would his wife have said no?
What Should OP Do?
- Acknowledge that small gestures matter. His wife wasn’t asking for much—just a tiny bit of extra effort.
- Use this as a learning moment. Next time, make the eggs, show appreciation, and let it go instead of turning it into an argument.
- Set a better example for their kids. They’re watching how their parents treat each other—and small acts of kindness shape their understanding of love and partnership.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
OP’s refusal to make a simple two-minute dish for his wife wasn’t just about breakfast—it was a missed opportunity to show care, strengthen their relationship, and set a positive example for their family.
What do you think? Was OP just setting a boundary, or did he let a small request turn into an unnecessary conflict? Let us know below!