AITA for putting both my obese and skinny twins on a diet?
Mornings in our household used to be a whirlwind of cereal boxes, homework, and laughter—but lately, the kitchen has become the stage for a deeper struggle. In a family with 14‑year‑old identical twins, Megan and Alana, both only 5’0” tall, differences in weight have sparked unexpected tension.
Megan, once similar in size to her sister, has grown to be significantly heavier, while Alana remains on the slender side. Concerned about Megan’s health and mindful of both daughters’ well‑being, their mom decided it was time for a change.
Determined to improve the entire family’s diet, she cut back on sugar and junk food and introduced high‑volume, low‑calorie meals packed with veggies and protein. But when Alana complained that the new plan was merely a punishment for her sister’s weight, the household debate shifted from health to feelings of fairness and identity. The question looms: is enforcing a family‑wide healthy diet fair when one twin’s struggles seem to drive the change?
‘AITA for putting both my obese and skinny twins on a diet?’
Parenting and nutrition are deeply intertwined, and managing the health of growing teens can be a delicate balancing act. Dr. David Ludwig, a professor of nutrition at Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, advises that “focusing on nutritious foods and regular physical activity, rather than strict calorie counting or dieting, is key for both physical and emotional health.”
By shifting the family’s eating habits towards wholesome, filling meals, the mom aimed to benefit everyone without placing blame solely on Megan. However, experts also caution that when dietary changes are perceived as a punishment, they can backfire. “When teens believe that changes in their routine are meant to shame them, it can lead to long-term issues with body image and food,”
explains Dr. Emily Adler, a pediatric nutrition specialist. In this situation, the underlying emotional dynamics—where one daughter feels penalized for her natural body type—may hinder the intended benefits of the healthy diet. Instead of fostering a supportive environment, the policy risks creating resentment and potentially harmful eating behaviors in both twins.
Moreover, implementing a one‑size‑fits‑all approach in a household with distinct metabolic needs might not be the ideal solution. While Megan’s obesity may stem from metabolic or hormonal factors, Alana’s slender frame doesn’t necessarily equate to health if she isn’t eating a balanced diet. Experts recommend tailoring nutritional guidance to each child’s needs while emphasizing overall health rather than appearance.
“It’s vital to have open discussions about health, and to include both medical professionals and mental health experts, so that healthy changes are seen as caring and supportive rather than punitive,” Dr. Adler adds.
Ultimately, the key is balance. By involving the entire family in fun, healthy activities—like biking or swimming—and ensuring that discussions around food focus on energy, wellness, and self-care rather than punishment, parents can help both children develop a positive relationship with food and their bodies.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
The Reddit community is largely critical of this approach. Many users feel that imposing a family‑wide diet in this context comes off as a punishment rather than a genuine effort to improve overall health. They point out that when one child is noticeably heavier and the other is naturally slim, a one‑size‑fits‑all diet risks ignoring important underlying medical or metabolic differences.
Several commenters stress that dieting during adolescence can harm self‑esteem and even trigger disordered eating habits, especially if it’s perceived as singling out one child for being “fat.” Overall, the consensus is that rather than using a blanket approach, a more tailored strategy—including proper medical assessments and individualized nutritional guidance—would be a healthier and more supportive option for both twins.
This story raises a critical question: how do you promote a healthy lifestyle in a family when one child’s challenges cast a shadow over collective efforts? Is it fair to implement a uniform diet when the underlying issues might be more complex? While the intent is to protect Megan’s health without alienating Alana,
the execution may inadvertently foster feelings of punishment and resentment. How can parents strike the right balance between health and emotional support? What strategies have you found effective in tailoring wellness to fit different needs within the same family? Share your thoughts and experiences—let’s discuss how to nurture both body and spirit without making anyone feel less than loved.