WIBTA if I didn’t give up MY honey moon villa to my grandparents?

Family vacations are meant to bring loved ones together, but what happens when entitlement ruins generosity? OP (F) and her husband (M) paid for an all-expenses-paid week-long family trip to Bora Bora as a pre-honeymoon celebration. They rented out an entire section of bungalows for their families, keeping the only villa for themselves as newlyweds.

During dinner, OP’s Asian grandparents saw pictures of the villa and immediately demanded the newlyweds switch rooms with them—arguing that elders shouldn’t be “treated like peasants.” OP refused, explaining that this was a honeymoon trip they paid for and that no other villas were available. Her grandparents stormed off, threatening to fly home, and now OP’s family is pressuring her to cave for the sake of “respect.”

Her husband’s side, however, thinks this is ridiculous entitlement. Now OP is torn between keeping her boundaries or giving in for family peace. Would she be the bad guy if she stood her ground?

‘WIBTA if I didn’t give up MY honey moon villa to my grandparents?’

Expert Opinion:

Cultural Obligation vs. Healthy Boundaries

Asian family dynamics often emphasize deference to elders, but psychologist Dr. Christine Yeh explains that blind obedience can lead to emotional exhaustion and resentment. Respect should be mutual, not one-sided demands for sacrifice.

Why Giving In Will Set a Dangerous Precedent

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist specializing in narcissistic family dynamics, warns that once you give in to unreasonable demands, they only escalate. If OP surrenders her honeymoon villa, what’s next? Will she be expected to fund future vacations? Give her home to her grandparents?

Her new marriage should take priority, and standing firm now will set the tone for future boundaries.

Solutions & How OP Can Keep the Peace Without Caving

A Firm but Respectful Stand: OP can express appreciation for her elders while standing firm, saying, “We love you, but this is our honeymoon, and we need this space for ourselves.”
Offer a Compromise (But Not the Villa): Instead of giving up the room, OP could invite them for a dinner or afternoon visit to the villa as a gesture of goodwill.
Prepare for Fallout: If her grandparents leave in protest, OP should let them go and enjoy her honeymoon without guilt. She cannot control their entitlement, only her response.