AITA for ruining someone’s day during my wedding?
Weddings are emotional, chaotic, and, in some cases, the perfect breeding ground for family drama. This is especially true when someone decides that your wedding isn’t about you—but about them instead.
That’s exactly what happened to OP, who had a traditional Punjabi wedding and was excited to include her shy but beloved cousin in a special ceremony. However, her cousin’s overbearing fiancée forced her way in, taking the role that OP had specifically given to her cousin.
When OP found out that her cousin was scolded and pushed aside, she confronted the fiancée, who then threw a tantrum and refused to attend the rest of the wedding. Now, OP’s cousin is furious, and the family is spreading negativity about her. Did OP do the right thing by standing up for her cousin, or did she overreact to wedding drama?
‘AITA for ruining someone’s day during my wedding?’
Expert Opinion:
Why Wedding Roles Matter in Cultural Traditions
In many cultures, specific roles in wedding ceremonies hold deep meaning, and Punjabi weddings are no exception. Anthropologist Dr. Simran Singh explains that these roles aren’t just about participation—they symbolize family ties, respect, and love. In this case, OP chose her cousin because she wanted to honor her, not because she needed a seat-filler.
By forcing herself into the spotlight, the fiancée disrespected both tradition and OP’s wishes. Her actions weren’t about helping—they were about seeking attention.
The Psychology of Wedding Entitlement
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist specializing in narcissistic behavior, explains that some people feel entitled to control aspects of weddings that aren’t theirs. This is often due to a need for validation and attention—they don’t see the event as celebrating the couple, but rather as an opportunity to be noticed.
This aligns with OP’s situation. The fiancée ignored boundaries, dismissed the bride’s choice, and belittled a younger relative to claim a more visible role. Her dramatic reaction—refusing to attend the rest of the wedding—only reinforces her need for control and attention.
Solutions & Lessons for Avoiding Wedding Drama
- Establish Clear Wedding Roles Beforehand: Communicate roles in advance and be firm about who is doing what. This prevents last-minute takeovers by those who think they deserve more attention.
- Involve Elders or Mediators in Cultural Disputes: If someone oversteps tradition, having an elder family member step in can prevent direct conflict. In this case, OP’s aunt or parents could have shut down the fiancée’s actions early on.
- Address Overbearing Guests Directly but Diplomatically: OP handled the situation well by confronting the fiancée privately, but in the future, a calm discussion before the ceremony could have prevented escalation. A firm but polite boundary-setting conversation is often the best way to handle wedding entitlement.
- Don’t Be Afraid to Put Your Foot Down: It was OP’s wedding, and she had every right to choose who was part of the ceremony. If someone throws a tantrum over not being in the spotlight, that’s on them—not the bride.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
Weddings are meant to celebrate the bride and groom, not provide a stage for entitled guests. OP was right to stand up for her cousin and enforce her boundaries. If anyone should be criticized, it’s the fiancée who prioritized her ego over family respect.
So, was OP justified in calling out the fiancée, or should she have let it slide? Share your thoughts below!