AITA for selling my ex-fiance’s family heirloom when he wouldn’t pay me back for our canceled wedding?
Weddings are supposed to be the beginning of a lifelong partnership—but what happens when that partnership falls apart at the last minute? Worse yet, what if the person you were supposed to marry leaves you drowning in debt while walking away scot-free?
That’s exactly what happened to OP (27F), whose fiancé Mason (29M) was caught cheating just weeks before their wedding. With nearly everything booked and $20,000 in non-refundable expenses, OP found herself in financial ruin. Mason, who had promised to share finances once they were married, suddenly decided that wasn’t his problem anymore. But OP had something of his: a $25,000 family heirloom engagement ring.
When Mason refused to help, she warned him—either contribute to the wedding costs or the ring would be sold. He ignored her. So, she sold it. Now, Mason is furious, his family is outraged, and some of OP’s relatives think she went too far. But did she?
‘AITA for selling my ex-fiance’s family heirloom when he wouldn’t pay me back for our canceled wedding?’
Expert Opinion:
Did OP Have the Right to Sell the Ring?
While OP might have felt justified, selling a family heirloom is legally complicated. Attorney Emily Dudley, an expert in family law, explains that engagement rings are generally considered conditional gifts—meaning if the marriage doesn’t happen, the ring should be returned. However, heirlooms are often treated as property of the family, not the individual. In many cases, failing to return one could lead to legal consequences.
Legality aside, OP gave Mason multiple warnings. Instead of responding, he mocked her and assumed she wouldn’t go through with it. In that sense, he underestimated the consequences of his actions—both in terms of the cheating and his refusal to help with wedding costs.
Was OP Justified?
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist specializing in toxic relationships, explains that people often try to dodge responsibility by shifting blame onto the person they hurt. Mason expected OP to absorb the financial hit alone, while still honoring the sentimental value of his family’s ring. But actions have consequences, and in this case, he gambled and lost.
Could OP have handled it differently? Possibly. She could have:
- Taken him to small claims court for half the wedding costs.
- Returned the ring and demanded compensation directly from his family.
- Held onto it longer as leverage instead of selling it outright.
But considering his complete disregard for her financial well-being, it’s hard to argue that OP’s actions were unjustified.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
Mason made two critical mistakes: cheating and underestimating OP’s resolve. If he had taken responsibility at any point, he could have avoided this mess. Instead, he doubled down on his arrogance, and now he’s paying the price—literally.
So, was OP’s move petty or perfectly justified? Should she have returned the ring, or did Mason get exactly what he deserved? Let’s hear your thoughts below!