AITA for evicting my brother and his family from the house I have inherited so my daughter can live there?
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Family inheritances can be a blessing—but sometimes they bring old wounds back to the surface. In this case, a 40-year-old woman explains how a house inherited from her great-grandmother became the center of a bitter family dispute.
Once she had agreed to rent it out to her 34-year-old brother and his family at a significantly below-market rate, with the understanding that she would reclaim it when her daughter, Caroline, turned 18, things seemed to be under control. However, when the time came to take back the property for Caroline’s future, her brother ignored her requests and even refused to cooperate.
Now, after obtaining a court order and officially evicting her brother’s family, she finds the house in terrible shape—something she claims is his responsibility for neglect. Yet her brother and parents accuse her of being unfair and “cheating” her way into giving her daughter a better life. Is she the asshole for enforcing a long-standing agreement and reclaiming the house for her daughter?
‘AITA for evicting my brother and his family from the house I have inherited so my daughter can live there?’
Relationship and family financial expert Dr. John Gottman explains, “Contracts within families—while emotionally charged—serve to clarify expectations and protect everyone’s interests. When agreements are made, especially in cases involving significant assets like an inherited home, it’s crucial that all parties adhere to the terms.”
In this instance, the OP’s decision to reclaim the house was based on a clear, legally documented agreement. The rental arrangement was set with the understanding that the property would eventually be needed for her daughter’s education and future independence.
By failing to honor this agreement, the brother not only disrupted the plan but also contributed to the deterioration of the house through neglect. Dr. Gottman emphasizes that “boundaries and contracts are not merely bureaucratic formalities; they reflect the values and priorities of a family.”
Here, the OP’s insistence on reclaiming the house underscores her priority to provide a stable, well-maintained environment for her daughter—a decision rooted in both practical and emotional reasoning. Although her brother’s family might feel the eviction was harsh, experts argue that when one party repeatedly ignores established terms, decisive action becomes necessary.
Moreover, ensuring that inherited property is used in a way that benefits the next generation is a common practice in family estate planning. While emotions run high, maintaining accountability and respect for agreements is key to preventing long-term resentment and ensuring that everyone’s needs are met.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
Many redditors felt that the OP was entirely justified, emphasizing that if the brother had known the rules, he should have taken responsibility for maintaining the house. Others commented that evicting family is never easy but necessary when agreements are ignored. A few users sympathized with the brother, lamenting that family bonds should be honored, yet most agreed that clear boundaries must be respected—even when it hurts.
Ultimately, the OP’s decision to evict her brother’s family is rooted in a clear, pre-established agreement intended to secure her daughter’s future. While some may see it as harsh or even familial betrayal, it underscores the importance of upholding boundaries and ensuring that responsibilities are met.
What would you do if a family member repeatedly ignored a long-standing agreement? Have you ever had to enforce tough boundaries within your family? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s discuss how we balance familial love with the need for accountability.