WIBTA If I move out of our apartment knowing my fiance and his mom can't afford it without me?

Moving in together is supposed to be a step forward in a relationship. But for OP (29F), it’s become a nightmare. When her fiancé’s (27M) mom needed a place to stay “for a couple of months,” OP agreed—only for that arrangement to stretch into six months with no end in sight.

Now, OP is paying more rent, has lost her office space, and is constantly disrespected in her own home. Meanwhile, her fiancé refuses to set boundaries with his mother, leaving OP trapped in a situation where she’s footing the bill for a woman who contributes nothing.

So, OP is considering moving out. But if she does, her fiancé and his mom won’t be able to afford the rent alone. Is she wrong for leaving them in that situation, or is it time to put herself first?

‘WIBTA If I move out of our apartment knowing my fiance and his mom can’t afford it without me?’

Expert Analysis:

The Problem Isn’t Just the MIL—It’s the Fiancé

One of the biggest red flags in this situation isn’t just OP’s future MIL—it’s her fiancé’s complete unwillingness to take action.

According to Dr. Terri Apter, a psychologist specializing in family dynamics, men who fail to set boundaries with their mothers before marriage rarely change after marriage. If a partner allows their parent to mistreat their significant other, it’s a sign of emotional enmeshment—where the parent still holds primary influence over their decisions.

Simply put: If he won’t stand up to her now, he never will.

The Financial & Emotional Toll of “Mommy Moving In”

This isn’t just an inconvenience—it’s financially draining and emotionally exhausting.

OP is paying 50% of the rent while getting less than 50% of the space (she lost her office).
MIL has no job and no plan—meaning this could drag on for years.
OP’s mental well-being is suffering due to MIL’s constant criticism.

According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist specializing in narcissistic family dynamics, long-term live-in parents often create stress and resentment, especially when one partner refuses to intervene. This dynamic is one of the leading reasons couples break up.

If OP doesn’t take action, she risks spending the rest of her life playing second to her MIL.

Lessons Learned & Moving Forward

A Partner Who Won’t Set Boundaries Never Will – OP’s fiancé has let this go on for six months. If he was going to stand up for OP, he would have done it already.
MIL Had No Intention of Leaving – She didn’t even apply for jobs. That’s a deliberate choice. OP is being used as a financial safety net.
OP Has Every Right to Leave – She’s not responsible for making sure her fiancé and his mother can afford rent. That’s his problem, not hers.
If OP Stays, This Will Be Her Life – Right now, it’s her home office and finances that are suffering. What’s next? If they get married, will MIL move in permanently? Will she dictate how OP raises kids, handles money, or spends time with friends? This isn’t just about now—it’s about the future.

Here’s the comments of Redditors:

Most users pointed out that MIL had NO intention of leaving. She never applied for jobs, proving this was her plan all along. Many said OP’s fiancé has already made his choice— and it’s his mother.

Others warned that this situation will only get worse if OP marries him. A partner who won’t set boundaries before marriage will never set them after.