AITA for telling my friend that she isn’t traumatized from somebody else’s proposal?

Family and friend gatherings sometimes spark unexpected emotional fireworks, and not always for the reasons you’d expect. In this story, a 20-year-old college student recounts how a proposal celebration turned into a battleground of feelings when her friend Laura—who’s known for her heavy use of mental health labels—claimed she was traumatized by an event that wasn’t even about her.

While her friend group celebrated Matt’s intimate proposal to Grace, Laura chose to distance herself, later claiming on social media that the lack of attention from friends was deeply traumatic. This left our OP, who herself has struggled with PTSD, conflicted and ultimately lashing out during a phone call by dismissing Laura’s feelings as “drama.”

Now, with Laura accusing her of being abusive and unsupportive, our OP is left wondering if she overreacted or if her blunt honesty was justified.

‘AITA for telling my friend that she isn’t traumatized from somebody else’s proposal?’

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman reminds us that emotional responses often stem from unmet expectations and personal history. “When someone repeatedly uses trauma language to describe experiences that may not objectively be traumatic, it can signal a deeper need for validation rather than a clinical issue,” he explains.

In this situation, the OP’s friend Laura is expressing her distress in a way that might be more about seeking attention or coping with unresolved feelings regarding her parents’ divorce than about the proposal event itself. Dr. Gottman emphasizes that “clear communication is key in addressing emotional triggers within friendships.”

The OP, having previously expressed her personal boundaries regarding the use of mental health terminology, felt compelled to challenge Laura’s narrative when she perceived it as exaggerated. While it’s understandable that such a response might come off as dismissive, experts argue that in close relationships, it’s important to confront perceived misrepresentations directly rather than letting them fester.

Furthermore, by comparing her own trauma history and the genuine challenges of PTSD to what she perceives as overblown drama, the OP is setting a boundary on what she considers valid versus exaggerated emotional responses. This approach, while harsh, can sometimes be necessary to maintain authenticity.

However, experts also caution that such remarks should be tempered with empathy to avoid alienating the person who may truly be in pain—even if that pain appears disproportionate. Ultimately, the balance lies in validating genuine emotional experiences while gently challenging exaggerations that might hinder personal growth.

See what others had to share with OP:

Many redditors sympathized with the OP, arguing that if someone repeatedly dismisses a friend’s feelings without self-reflection, it can create a toxic dynamic. Several users pointed out that while trauma is not a joke, using its terminology loosely might invite honest scrutiny. Others believed that the OP’s reaction was a hard truth delivered bluntly, which, though painful, was necessary to set boundaries.

A few commenters expressed regret over the harsh words, suggesting that more empathetic communication might have avoided the fallout. Overall, the consensus is mixed, with a significant portion feeling that the OP’s response, while rough, was understandable given the circumstances.

Ultimately, the OP’s decision to tell her friend that she wasn’t truly traumatized isn’t simply about dismissing feelings—it’s about drawing a line between genuine trauma and what she perceives as overdramatic reaction. It raises the question of how we validate our friends’ emotions while maintaining healthy boundaries.

What would you do if a friend used heavy trauma language to describe a situation that didn’t personally affect you? Have you ever had to confront someone about their exaggerated emotional responses? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s discuss how to balance empathy with honest communication in close relationships.