AITA for refusing to push my obese cousin around in a wheelchair for a day?
Family obligations can sometimes force us into challenging roles that test our physical limits and emotional boundaries. In this case, OP is faced with the request to push her obese cousin—who weighs nearly 600 pounds—in a wheelchair for an entire day so that her cousin can attend an out-of-state wedding held in a public park. Despite trying multiple solutions (from rental agencies to borrowing vehicles) and exploring all available options,
OP finds herself unable to safely manage the physical task of navigating uneven terrain. Caught between the desire to help and the reality of her own limitations, OP is now questioning if she’s in the wrong for refusing to do something that she simply cannot manage without risking injury or humiliation for her cousin.
‘AITA for refusing to push my obese cousin around in a wheelchair for a day?’
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist who often addresses boundary-setting in family relationships, notes, “It’s important to acknowledge our limitations—both physical and emotional. When a family member’s request exceeds what is safely or reasonably possible, it’s perfectly acceptable to say no. This isn’t about a lack of care, but about ensuring everyone’s safety and dignity.”(kidshealth.org)
Similarly, physical therapist Dr. Elena Morales explains, “Pushing a heavy, non-mobile individual across uneven terrain is a physically demanding task. If someone is not physically capable or if the risk of injury is high, it’s a legitimate concern to refuse. It’s not a moral failing; it’s an issue of practicality and safety.” (kidshealth.org) Both experts agree that when a request poses significant physical challenges or safety concerns, it is reasonable to decline—even if it may feel hurtful to the person in need.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Many redditors empathize with OP, noting that not everyone is physically capable of managing such a task. “If your body can’t handle it, you shouldn’t be forced to—it’s about safety first,” one commenter shared.
In summary, OP’s decision to refuse to push her cousin in a wheelchair stems from genuine concerns over safety and physical ability, not from a lack of care. While it’s understandable that her cousin might feel hurt or shamed by the refusal, the reality is that no one should be forced to perform a task that poses a serious risk of injury.
Do you believe that family should always find a way to help, even if it means risking personal safety? Or do you agree that setting realistic boundaries is the best course of action? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would you do if faced with a similar dilemma?
Verdict: NTA (Not the Asshole)
Your decision is based on practical, safety-oriented concerns, and you’ve made every effort to explore alternatives before reaching your limit.