My husband wants to install cctv around the apartment because of scratches on my back that I can’t explain?

Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship, yet sometimes even natural bodily phenomena can trigger deep-seated insecurities. Our OP, a woman with sensitive skin, shares her experience when her husband reacted dramatically to unexplained scratches on her back. During a shower one morning, after noticing blood in the bed, her husband questioned her about these deep marks.

Despite her explanation that they were likely caused by her sensitive, itchy skin, he insisted the scratches were too deep and in places her hands shouldn’t have been able to reach. This suspicion, fueled by his past experiences with infidelity and lingering trust issues, led him to propose installing CCTV around their apartment.

His argument was simple: if she’s not hiding anything, then she shouldn’t worry. OP, however, refused this invasive measure, asserting her privacy and denying any wrongdoing on her part. Now, he questions her integrity, leaving her to wonder if her stance makes her the asshole.

‘My husband wants to install cctv around the apartment because of scratches on my back that I can’t explain?’

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist known for her work on relationship trauma and trust, explains, “When one partner’s insecurities—especially those rooted in past betrayals—lead them to impose measures like constant surveillance, it reflects deep personal issues rather than any actual wrongdoing by the other partner. A person’s natural physical reactions, such as scratches from sensitive skin, are not proof of infidelity.” (kidshealth.org)

Family therapist Dr. Susan Johnson adds, “In healthy relationships, mutual trust and respect are paramount. Installing CCTV in a private home is an extreme measure that signals an erosion of trust. When one partner resorts to surveillance to manage their insecurities, it not only invades personal privacy but also undermines the foundation of the relationship. It’s important for both partners to address these underlying issues, rather than letting them spiral into controlling behavior.”

Both experts agree that while it’s natural to want reassurance in a relationship, using invasive surveillance as a solution is disproportionate and ultimately damaging. The OP’s refusal to allow such measures is a reasonable boundary-setting response to her husband’s unresolved trust issues.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many redditors empathize with OP, noting that if your partner’s reaction to normal physical occurrences is to jump to extreme measures like CCTV installation, then his actions reveal more about his insecurities than about any wrongdoing on her part.

Ultimately, the OP’s decision to refuse the installation of CCTV in her home is entirely justified. Her sensitive skin and the natural occurrence of scratches do not warrant invasive surveillance measures, especially when such actions are driven by her husband’s unresolved trust issues. While his need for reassurance is understandable, his solution not only invades her privacy but also undermines the trust that should be at the heart of their relationship.

Do you believe that extreme measures like installing CCTV can ever be justified in a relationship, or should trust and open communication always prevail? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?