WIBTA for calling the police on my boyfriend after he let his brother and his family live in my holiday home without my permission?
We’ve all heard of family members who overstep boundaries—borrowing money without asking, helping themselves to your snacks, or showing up uninvited. But imagine your boyfriend stealing your house keys, handing them over to his brother, and facilitating an entire illegal move-in without your consent. That’s not just overstepping; that’s an Olympic-level violation of trust.
This is exactly what happened to our Original Poster (OP), who inherited a holiday home she rarely used. Her boyfriend’s brother, struggling with space for his growing family, saw an opportunity and decided to help himself—with the full support of OP’s soon-to-be-ex.
Now, OP is stuck with a trespassing family and a boyfriend who seems to think his betrayal was an act of heroism. The question is—would she be in the wrong for calling the police to kick them out?
‘WIBTA for calling the police on my boyfriend after he let his brother and his family live in my holiday home without my permission?’
Expert Analysis:
The Legal Implications of Unlawful Occupation
From a legal standpoint, what OP’s ex-boyfriend and his brother attempted falls under unauthorized occupancy or even squatting, depending on jurisdiction. Property law expert Professor Mark Jordan states:
“The unauthorized occupation of a home—even if facilitated by someone with access—does not grant legal tenancy. In most cases, the rightful owner retains full authority to remove trespassers, and law enforcement can be involved immediately.”
This means OP is completely within her rights to call the police. Additionally, UK property laws (where OP appears to be located) tend to favor property owners in cases of trespassing, especially when no formal rental agreement was in place.
Psychology of Entitlement: Why People Think They Can Take What’s Not Theirs
The boldness of OP’s ex-boyfriend and his family is a textbook case of entitlement mentality. Dr. W. Keith Campbell, author of The Narcissism Epidemic, explains:
“When people feel they ‘deserve’ something, they often justify unethical behavior to obtain it—whether it’s skipping the line, taking from others, or, in extreme cases, claiming property that isn’t theirs.”
This explains why the boyfriend and his brother didn’t just ask OP to rent them the home or discuss arrangements properly. Instead, they acted as if they were entitled to it, assuming OP would cave under the weight of their “need.”
What OP Should Do Next
- Call the police immediately – Trespassing cases become more complicated the longer people stay in a home. Acting fast prevents the possibility of a drawn-out legal battle.
- Change all the locks – If they took the keys once, there’s a chance they copied them. Secure both properties ASAP.
- Officially end the relationship – Trust is gone. There’s no coming back from this level of disrespect and deception.
- Consult a lawyer – If the squatters refuse to leave, legal action may be necessary.
Redditors did NOT hold back on their thoughts about OP’s situation:
The overwhelming response? OP is absolutely NOT the a-hole—but her ex and his brother sure are. Many users pointed out the danger of allowing them to stay even one night, as some jurisdictions have protections for unlawful occupants, making eviction harder. Others emphasized how the ex-boyfriend’s betrayal went beyond property—it was a fundamental breach of trust.
What would you do in OP’s situation? Have you ever had someone try to take something that was yours just because they thought they deserved it? Let’s discuss.