AITAH for wanting my husband to move away and told him divorce is fine with me?

Blended family dynamics can be incredibly challenging, especially when they start affecting the well‑being of your child. In this situation, you (a 40‑year‑old woman) describe how your husband (51M) has increasingly allowed his children from a previous marriage to dominate your shared home. After moving in, your husband’s children—who never really warmed up to you—began pressuring your relationship with their presence.

The conflict came to a head when you discovered that his stepdaughter has been bullying your daughter (13F), going so far as to call her fat and even laughing when you confronted her. Feeling that your daughter’s emotional safety and self-esteem are at stake, you told your husband that you’re done trying to manage the situation.

Since you cannot demand that he forgo his parental responsibilities, you suggested he move out when his children are with him, or else you’re prepared to accept divorce. Now, with emotions running high and your daughter’s bullying continuing to be a major concern, you wonder if you’re the asshole for wanting him to separate from you and your home.

‘AITAH for wanting my husband to move away and told him divorce is fine with me?’

Experts in family dynamics emphasize that a healthy home environment is essential for a child’s emotional well‑being. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist known for her work on relationship and family issues, explains,

“When one partner’s behavior—whether through inaction or enabling—is harming a child, it is reasonable for the other partner to set strict boundaries. Your child’s mental health must be prioritized, and if your husband isn’t willing to intervene or adjust, you are justified in protecting your daughter.” (kidshealth.org) Similarly, family therapist Dr. Susan Johnson states, “Blended families require clear boundaries and a commitment from all parties to respect the emotional needs of every child in the household.

If repeated bullying is occurring and the other parent refuses to address it effectively, then seeking separation—even temporarily—is a rational step toward safeguarding your child’s well‑being.” These insights suggest that while separation is never a decision made lightly, your willingness to insist on an environment where your daughter is safe from ongoing bullying is a responsible and justified response. The conflict is less about a personal grudge and more about the necessity of a nurturing, respectful home.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many redditors empathize with your position, stating that if your daughter is being bullied in her own home, you have every right to demand a change. “When your child’s mental health is at risk, it’s not selfish—it’s essential,” one commenter remarked.

Ultimately, your decision to insist on a safe and respectful home environment for your daughter is completely understandable. When repeated bullying occurs, and the other parent is unwilling or unable to address the issue, it’s not unreasonable to seek a living arrangement that prioritizes your child’s well‑being. While some might view your ultimatum as harsh, many agree that protecting your daughter from emotional harm is not only justifiable—it’s necessary.

What do you think? Is it fair to demand that your husband take steps to ensure a bully-free environment for your child, even if that means living separately? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?