AITA for People are asking for update about my husband and his female best friend?
When a relationship ends with a dramatic breakup and rumors fly, the aftermath can be a tangled web of family drama, social media fallout, and personal vengeance. Our OP, a 25‑year‑old woman, shares her update from the aftermath of her divorce. She left her husband via a text while he was out, telling him she no longer loved him—and then proceeded to block him, effectively severing communication.
Since then, she’s been living with her mum (after “kicking out” her dad for her own reasons) and has been showered with support in the form of food and candy. However, the situation grew even more complicated when rumors spread: her ex-husband’s female best friend (or alleged affair partner) began attacking her reputation on social media, calling her names and claiming that he never truly loved her. In response,
she blocked that person as well, deactivated her social media accounts, and now plans to consult an attorney after the holidays. She’s determined not to pursue an annulment but to secure half of the marital assets. With people asking for updates on her ex-husband and his female best friend, she now wonders if she’s the asshole for the way she handled the breakup and the ensuing drama.
‘ AITA for People are asking for update about my husband and his female best friend?’
Experts emphasize that in high-conflict breakups, especially when emotions run extremely high, the methods of separation can become a flashpoint for lasting bitterness. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist specializing in relationship trauma, explains, “Ending a marriage via text may seem callous, but it sometimes reflects a deep-seated need to avoid further harm in an already volatile situation.
The decision to block communication can be a protective measure when past patterns have caused significant emotional injury.” (kidshealth.org) Family therapist Dr. Susan Johnson adds, “When both parties are caught up in a cycle of blame and public shaming, the breakup process can escalate quickly. While a more open, in-person conversation is generally preferable, there are cases in which immediate, no-contact measures are chosen to prevent further emotional trauma.”
She cautions, however, that such decisions often have long-term consequences—especially when children or mutual social circles are involved—and may invite retaliation via social media or family gossip. Both experts agree that the OP’s method of breaking up—although harsh—was a response to ongoing hurt and a desire to reclaim personal safety and autonomy. Still, they note that the lingering public feud might complicate future healing for everyone involved.
See what others had to share with OP:
Many redditors sympathize with the OP, arguing that when you’re in an abusive or toxic relationship, a text breakup and cutting off communication can be a necessary means of self-preservation. “If you feel you can’t safely face your ex-husband, then blocking him is a valid choice,” one commenter remarked.
Ultimately, the OP’s decision to break up with her husband via text and then block him, along with distancing herself from his female best friend, appears to be a reaction born out of intense emotional pain and the need for immediate self-preservation. While some may view her methods as cold or vindictive, many understand that when you’re caught in a cycle of public drama and personal betrayal, drastic measures can seem like the only way out.
Do you think it’s fair to end a relationship through a text message if you feel threatened or deeply hurt? Or should there be a better way to resolve such conflicts, even in high-drama situations? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would you do if you found yourself in a similarly toxic environment?