AITAH for not answering the door when my husbands boss arrived unannounced with a baby gift?
When life as a new mom means juggling endless responsibilities, even a seemingly minor social interaction can feel overwhelming. Our OP, a 23‑year‑old woman, describes a situation that many new parents might relate to. With a 4‑week‑old baby and a toddler at home, she was busy upstairs pumping and caring for her little ones when the doorbell rang.
Used to ignoring unsolicited visitors, she continued her work, unaware that her husband’s boss and his wife had arrived unannounced with a baby gift. Later, when her husband expressed his frustration that she never answered the door or came downstairs to receive the gift, she defended herself by saying she had no idea they were there. Now, she wonders if her inattention makes her the asshole.
‘AITAH for not answering the door when my husbands boss arrived unannounced with a baby gift?’
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist known for her work on stress and relationship dynamics, explains, “New parents often face significant cognitive and physical overload. When you’re in the midst of a demanding task like pumping, even routine social interactions can easily slip your mind. The key here is intention—if there was no deliberate neglect, then a brief lapse in attention is understandable.” (kidshealth.org) Family therapist Dr. Susan Johnson adds,
“In the context of early parenthood, where every minute is dedicated to caring for your child, missing a doorbell—especially when you’re accustomed to not answering unsolicited visits—is a common occurrence. It’s important for partners to communicate their expectations clearly, but also to recognize that the pressures of new parenthood can lead to unintentional oversights.”
These experts suggest that the OP’s behavior was a byproduct of the intense demands of caring for young children rather than a conscious act of rudeness. While her husband’s feelings are valid in wanting a polite acknowledgment from his boss, the situation calls for understanding and empathy towards the challenges of new motherhood.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Many redditors empathize with the OP, arguing that when you’re busy pumping and managing young kids, missing a doorbell isn’t a deliberate snub—it’s just the reality of new parenthood.
Ultimately, the OP’s failure to answer the door when her husband’s boss arrived appears to be an unintentional consequence of the overwhelming demands of new parenthood rather than a deliberate act of rudeness. While her husband understandably wished for a brief moment of politeness, many agree that in the context of juggling a 4‑week‑old baby and a toddler, a small oversight is completely forgivable.
What do you think? Is it reasonable to expect a new mom to always be socially available, or should we extend more grace given the immense demands on her time? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?