AITA for telling my son he will pay back for the cheese/meat or he won’t be eating thanksgiving tomorrow?

Every family has their Thanksgiving traditions—from the turkey to the sides, and for one family, a carefully curated charcuterie board before dinner. But what happens when a hungry teenager eats $70 worth of fancy meats and cheeses that were clearly labeled “Do Not Eat”?

One frustrated mother found herself laying down a harsh consequence: either her 16-year-old son replaces what he ate, or he doesn’t get to eat Thanksgiving dinner. But with her husband siding with their son, she’s left wondering: Am I being too harsh, or is this the only way to teach him a lesson?

‘AITA for telling my son he will pay back for the cheese/meat or he won’t be eating thanksgiving tomorrow?’

Expert Opinion:

Why Boundaries Matter

According to Dr. Deborah Gilboa, an expert in child development and discipline, teens must experience real consequences to learn responsibility.

“A child who ignores clear rules and faces no consequences will struggle with accountability in adulthood. Parents must teach the value of respecting others’ work, time, and resources.”

In this case, the mother clearly labeled the cheese, communicated its purpose, and put in extra work to afford it. The son knowingly disregarded this and is now refusing to take responsibility. A natural consequence—such as having to replace what he ate or missing out on the Thanksgiving meal—is a reasonable response.

Why the Husband’s Response Could Be Harmful

Parenting experts emphasize the dangers of undermining a co-parent’s authority. When one parent enforces rules and the other sides with the child, it creates entitlement and reinforces bad behavior.

According to parenting coach Janet Lansbury: “When one parent constantly dismisses the other’s rules, it sends the message that boundaries don’t matter. This not only leads to more defiant behavior but also damages trust between parents.”

If the father doesn’t support consequences, their son will likely repeat the behavior, knowing that there are no real stakes involved.

A Better Way to Handle the Situation

Rather than completely banning him from Thanksgiving dinner, an alternative approach could include:

Having him work for the cost of the food—whether through chores or using his own money.
Making him personally go and replace the cheese and meats himself, reinforcing the effort and cost involved.
Hosting a family discussion about respecting shared food and finances, rather than turning the meal into a battleground.

Here’s What Reddit Had to Say:

Redditors overwhelmingly sided with the mom, arguing that eating $70 worth of specialty food that was clearly labeled “Do Not Eat” should come with consequences. Many pointed out that the husband enabling this behavior is a bigger problem than the son’s actions.