AITA for taking my wife’s side after she screamed and cursed at my mother?
Pregnancy cravings are no joke. One minute, it’s an intense need for ice cream at 2 a.m., the next, an all-consuming mission to track down the perfect rotisserie chicken. But what happens when someone—say, a meddling mother-in-law—decides she knows best and throws away that hard-earned, highly anticipated meal?
One man found himself in the middle of a dramatic showdown between his mother and his pregnant wife when his mom decided she had the final say on what his wife should and shouldn’t eat. After an emotional explosion, a frantic search for another chicken, and a divide in family opinions, he’s wondering: Did I handle this the right way?
‘AITA for taking my wife’s side after she screamed and cursed at my mother?’
Expert Opinion:
Why This Conflict Runs Deeper Than Just Food
At first glance, this might seem like just an argument over dinner. But, at its core, this is a classic case of overbearing family dynamics and control. A mother’s concern for her future grandchild’s health is one thing—completely overriding a grown woman’s choices and throwing away her food is another.
According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist specializing in narcissistic family dynamics, “Over-controlling parents often struggle with their child’s independence, especially when a new spouse or partner shifts the power balance. They may exert control in passive-aggressive ways, such as undermining decisions or setting ‘rules’ that are not theirs to make.”
In this case, the mother not only disrespected the wife’s autonomy but also dismissed her cravings, emotions, and decisions as a parent-to-be. Her statement about her son “choosing another woman over her” signals deeper insecurity and possessiveness, which are classic traits of boundary-crossing parental relationships.
How This Could Have Been Handled Differently
While OP stood up for his wife (which is absolutely the right thing to do), there are steps that could help prevent this type of escalation in the future:
- Setting Clear Boundaries: OP needs to have a firm conversation with his mother about respecting his wife’s autonomy, especially regarding personal choices like food, parenting, and household decisions.
- Reducing Involvement in Daily Life: If his mother has too much access to their home or family life, setting limits—such as designated visit times or private spaces—can minimize interference.
- Shifting the Focus from “Choosing Sides”: Family dynamics should not be framed as a competition. OP should reinforce that supporting his wife does not mean abandoning his mother; rather, it’s about respecting individual roles.
Here’s What Reddit Had to Say:
Redditors were not here for the mother’s behavior. While some pointed out that she may have had good intentions, most agreed that tossing a pregnant woman’s food and dictating what she can eat was beyond inappropriate.
Most would agree that OP’s mom took things too far. Her actions weren’t just about food—they symbolized control, disrespect, and an unwillingness to accept her son’s new family dynamic. OP did the right thing by standing up for his wife, but this situation highlights the importance of establishing firm family boundaries before things escalate.
What do you think? Was OP’s reaction justified, or should he have handled things differently? Let us know in the comments!