AITA for telling teenage boys to “f**king stop”?

When you’re responsible for a group of teenagers on a church trip, managing behavior can be a real challenge—especially when the situation involves protecting someone from harassment. Our OP, a 22‑year‑old chaperone, was overseeing his church’s youth group at a theme park on New Year’s Eve when things took an uncomfortable turn. While waiting in line for a ride, a young woman around his age casually showed up in typical summer attire,

only to become the target of inappropriate comments and physical gestures by several teenage boys. Their behavior escalated quickly, and the situation became untenable. In that heated moment, the OP snapped and told them, “f**king stop harassing her.” Although the immediate crisis was averted, his use of strong language in front of the group has left him questioning whether he overreacted.

Now, with mixed reactions from his fellow chaperones and peers—some saying he should have handled it more gently—the OP is left wondering: Am I the asshole for cussing at them in order to protect a stranger?

‘AITA for telling teenage boys to “f**king stop”?’

In situations where young people engage in inappropriate behavior, immediate intervention is often necessary to ensure the safety and dignity of everyone involved. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist known for her work on relationship and social behavior, explains, “When you witness behavior that is clearly disrespectful and potentially harmful, it is natural for someone to respond with strong language if they feel that inaction will only encourage further misconduct.” (kidshealth.org) In this case,

the OP’s reaction was a spontaneous, instinctual effort to protect the young woman from further harassment. Although his delivery was harsh, his intent was to stop behavior that could easily have escalated further. Dr. Durvasula also emphasizes the importance of context: “While it’s ideal to use calm and measured language, in high-stress moments—especially involving safety and respect—it is understandable that a person might resort to more forceful language to convey the urgency of the situation.”

Meanwhile, family therapist Dr. Susan Johnson adds, “For caregivers and chaperones, setting clear boundaries in front of impressionable teenagers is crucial, but it’s also essential to follow up later with an explanation to model appropriate behavior.

The initial intervention might be forceful, but learning from that moment is key.” Both experts agree that while the OP’s language might not be ideal for a church group setting, his intervention was justified by the need to protect the young woman and quickly stop unacceptable behavior.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Many redditors empathize with the OP, arguing that in situations of harassment, a strong, decisive command—even with profanity—is sometimes necessary to halt the behavior immediately. “If you see someone being harassed, you do what you have to do to protect them, even if it means dropping a few swear words,” one commenter wrote.

In the end, the OP’s decision to tell the teenage boys to “f**king stop” was a direct response to an escalating situation that endangered a young woman’s comfort and safety. While his language may have been blunt, many agree that his immediate intervention was justified given the circumstances.

Yet, the incident raises a question: Is it acceptable to use strong language in a high-pressure situation, or should chaperones strive to model more refined communication even in moments of crisis? What would you do if you found yourself in a similar scenario? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would be your approach to stopping unacceptable behavior?