AITA for telling my SIL we weren’t going to cater to her just because she is pregnant?
Helping out family in tough times is something many of us are willing to do—but what happens when the person you’re helping starts acting entitled? This woman (OP) and her husband took in OP’s sister-in-law (SIL), who is six months pregnant and in a financially difficult situation. While OP and her husband generously provide food, housing, and support, SIL has been making constant demands for junk food and special meals.
OP set reasonable boundaries, but after declining a late-night junk food run, SIL cried, and now OP’s husband feels caught in the middle. Is OP being too harsh, or is SIL taking advantage of the situation? Let’s break it down.
‘AITA for telling my SIL we weren’t going to cater to her just because she is pregnant?’
Expert Opinion:
Understanding Pregnancy Cravings vs. Nutritional Needs
Cravings are common during pregnancy, but indulging them isn’t always necessary. Dr. Jennifer Wider, a women’s health expert, explains that “while cravings are a real part of pregnancy, they are not an indicator of a medical necessity. In most cases, a balanced diet with essential nutrients is far more important than satisfying cravings.”
SIL’s requests for pizza rolls and ice cream aren’t about health—they’re about personal preference. While it’s understandable that she wants comfort foods, she is living rent-free in OP’s home. Given that OP is already providing balanced meals, SIL’s expectation that her cravings should be catered to goes beyond reasonable.
The Fine Line Between Support and Enabling
Psychologist Dr. Susan Newman, an expert on family dynamics, warns that “when a person consistently relies on others without taking personal responsibility, it can lead to resentment and conflict. Boundaries are crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship.”
SIL is not only refusing the meals OP prepares but is also putting pressure on OP to change household habits—this is a classic example of entitlement creeping into generosity. If OP gives in now, it could set a precedent for future unreasonable expectations once the baby arrives.
How OP Can Handle the Situation
- Have a Direct Conversation: OP and her husband need to sit down with SIL and establish clear expectations about meals and household rules.
- Encourage Self-Sufficiency: If SIL wants specific foods, she should be responsible for getting them herself. Whether through a small budget or food assistance programs, it’s not OP’s responsibility.
- Limit Future Resentment: If SIL is staying indefinitely, OP should set a timeline or plan for SIL’s next steps post-pregnancy to avoid long-term conflict.
- Stand Firm on Parenting Rules: Allowing unrestricted junk food could set a bad example for OP’s kids. The household rules should apply to everyone staying there.
Community Reactions
Reddit users were overwhelmingly on OP’s side, with many pointing out that SIL should be grateful, not demanding.
Generosity should be appreciated, not exploited. OP and her husband are already doing more than enough by providing SIL with free housing, groceries, and home-cooked meals. While cravings are normal, they are not a necessity, and SIL is acting entitled rather than grateful.
Setting firm boundaries now will prevent resentment and future conflict, especially once the baby arrives. At the end of the day, OP’s household runs on fair rules for everyone, and SIL doesn’t get to demand special treatment just because she’s pregnant.
What do you think? Should OP have been more accommodating, or was SIL completely out of line? Share your thoughts below!