AITAH for telling my wife she is not worthy of what she’s asking for, for her “push present”?
The rise of social media has introduced new expectations into relationships, some of which can place significant pressure on couples. Platforms like TikTok often amplify materialistic trends, shaping the way people perceive love and appreciation. One such trend is the concept of a “push present”—a gift given to a woman after childbirth. While some see it as a meaningful token of gratitude, others argue that it encourages entitlement and financial strain in relationships.
This dilemma became personal for one man when his pregnant wife requested a luxury car as her push present, citing a viral TikTok video. He was taken aback by her expectations, leading to a heated debate about financial boundaries, appreciation, and social media’s influence. Was he wrong for rejecting the idea, or was his wife being unreasonable? Read on for the full story and the perspectives surrounding it.
‘ AITAH for telling my wife she is not worthy of what she’s asking for, for her “push present”?’
Expert Opinion
The debate surrounding push presents ties into broader discussions about consumer culture and entitlement in relationships. According to relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch, a professor at Oakland University and author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, “The key to any gift-giving moment in a relationship is understanding your partner’s expectations and ensuring both parties feel valued.”
Push presents, once considered a luxury, are becoming more mainstream. A 2018 survey conducted by BabyCenter found that 45% of new mothers expected a push present, with jewelry being the most popular option. However, financial coach and bestselling author Rachel Cruze warns against letting social media dictate financial decisions. “The pressure from platforms like TikTok can create unrealistic expectations, leading to unnecessary financial strain on families,” she says.
When analyzing OP’s situation, experts suggest focusing on the sentiment behind the gift rather than the monetary value. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist known for his research on marital stability, emphasizes the importance of “turning toward” one’s partner in emotionally charged discussions. “Validating emotions and seeking a compromise can prevent resentment from taking root,” Gottman explains.
Moreover, financial consultant Suze Orman advises couples to openly discuss major purchases. “If one partner desires a significant gift, it should be a mutual decision within the couple’s financial framework,” Orman states. In this case, OP’s stance of offering a meaningful yet financially responsible alternative aligns with expert advice.
Ultimately, appreciation in a relationship should not hinge on material gifts but rather on consistent emotional support and partnership. If OP and his wife can shift the focus from external expectations to personal meaning, they may find a resolution that satisfies them both.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Reddit users had strong reactions to the original poster’s dilemma. Many agreed that push presents should be meaningful but reasonable:
Some users shared sentimental gift ideas, such as birthstone jewelry or a heartfelt gesture, while others criticized social media for promoting entitled attitudes. One commenter noted, “Influencers are ruining relationships with unrealistic expectations.” However, some argued that the husband’s reaction may have been too dismissive, suggesting that communication could have been handled more sensitively.
Ultimately, gift-giving in relationships should be a personal decision based on mutual appreciation, not external influence. While recognizing a mother’s efforts is important, financial responsibility should take precedence over social media-driven expectations. What do you think? Should push presents be an expected tradition, or do they set unrealistic standards in relationships? Share your thoughts in the comments below!