AITA? For refusing to let MIL spend the night in my bedroom and lock the door?

A Reddit user found themselves in a heated argument with their mother-in-law (MIL) after refusing to let her sleep in their master bedroom and lock the door. The MIL, who was visiting unexpectedly, insisted she couldn’t sleep without a locked door and demanded the couple’s bed, despite being offered alternative sleeping arrangements.

When the user refused, her husband sided with his mother, leading to a dramatic fallout. The MIL left for a hotel, and now the husband’s family is calling the user disrespectful. The husband accuses the user of trying to push his family away, leaving them wondering—were they in the wrong? Read the full story below…

‘ AITA? For refusing to let MIL spend the night in my bedroom and lock the door?’

Context: my husband (m34) and I (f26) got married 9 months ago, we live in a different town from his parents, and his mom visited us unexpectedly on friday.Now to give some context about my MIL, She is okay-ish but has no respect for her son’s privacy and by extension, mine. When it was time to go to bed, MIL requested that we let her sleep in the bedroom, on the master bed,

not just that but lock the door as well because she explained she can’t feel comfortable enough to sleep without locking the door. I found this bizzare but I politely declined and suggeted other options like the guest room, couch and air mattress but no she turned around and presented these options to me. My husband agreed but I said no. This initiated an argument between her and I.

During the argument I pointed put how I didn’t want to be keot out of my room and away from my stuff but she lashed out at my husband saying “Don’t you just stand there! Say something!”. My husband told me to let her it’s just one night, but I told her those were all the options I had for her and if she didn’t like them then I could book her in a hotel.

She took it as in I was kicking her out and started crying which made my husband upset. She left at 12am and my husband blew up saying I disrespected his mom who was a GUEST at our house and treated her poorly, he then reminded me it’s our bedroom not just mine and I acted horribly to her causing her to go stay at a hotel in the middle of the night.

He went to book a room in the same hotel as her and turned his phone off. The next day she went home and told the family who berated me calling my behavior towards MIL a**orrent and l**thsome, now my husband is complaining about how I keep trying to ruin his relationship with his family and push them away. But I want to know if I was really ta?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

byuell −  NTA Girl I would get a divorce asap, these kind of relationships never last for a long time. He is not able to see the disrespect his mother is giving BOTH of you guys. Run
Edit: Never thought my first most liked comment on Reddit would be a device to get divorced lmao

Dont-trust-it −  NTA. my husband blew up saying I disrespected his mom who was a GUEST at our house. Then she can use the GUEST room. She clearly had ulterior motives here, there is every chance she planned to snoop.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. It’s creepy that she wants to sleep in the room you and your husband (her son) share. Especially with that insane amount of pushback she was giving and looking at her son to “step in” only makes this worse than it needs to be. Husband is acting like a mommas boy and needs to see his mom is totally in the wrong

Pinkie_Flamingo −  NTA. Your DH is in an emotionally abusive relationship with MIL, and unless he shows real progress towards ending it pronto, your marriage might not be good for you.
Put him on a 90 day clock. Start couple’s counseling, stop MIL coming by uninvited, stop MIL from staying the night, start to unpack just how bad this is and what boundaries are now needed, etc.

It is wildly disturbing that his family are shouting abuse at you for not allowing MIL to kick you out of your marriage bed so she can sleep with DH, behind a closed AND LOCKED bedroom door. Is this a family system of i**est?

Environmental_Lab107 −  NTA but I find it bizarre that your husband went to the hotel too. Did he sleep with his mommy? So freaking weird. Neither my in-laws or parents would ask for my room. I’d tell them no. I wouldn’t want her locked in my room going through my things. Weird

Icy_Climate_5755 −  NTA. That’s weird. Especially when there is a perfectly good guest bedroom. She is trying to assert her authority as the main woman in your husbands life. If he doesn’t stick up for you when she is trying to kick you out of your marital bed that’s a big red flag.

jdubya525 −  Nta.. your husband hasn’t broken away from mommy yet.. may be a life long problem

Individual-Mall-6914 −  NTA, you are married now. Your husband is the AH. He needs to set the boundaries with MIL, and respect yours. This happened to me as well. My parents would tell me I needed to come over and help with something, not respecting plans I had with my wife. It was how I lived when I was single. My parents struggled, but they got over it.

They now know to let us know well in advance, and that I am no longer at their disposal on a whim. In as much as your husband thinks you disrespected your MIL, he actually disrespected you. This needed to happen. He needs to choose you every time.

JustOneMore_Cat −  Ask your husband ” If we visit your Mom at her home, would she give up her bedroom for us? We would be guests at her home.” NTA – but your husband and MIL are. This is nothing but a power play by MIL. Give in and you are setting yourselves up for increasingly more demanding behaviors from her. Set boundaries now.

aelib88 −  NTA.Your MIL drops in unexpectedly, decides to spend the night and then tries take over your space? We can’t prove it, but we know she was going to pick through your stuff.
Guest rooms are for guests, she is a guest. You are not required to give up your room for her. Your husband getting upset and staying in a hotel with his mother tells me who he’s really married to though.

When my now husband and I moved in together, his mother went through the drawers in my bedroom – not that I have anything to hide, but it’s my personal space and I felt angry and violated. I told my husband that I didn’t want her going through my stuff again. I didn’t want her going through my space and he dealt with it.

When she came over during our first Christmas in the house, she started taking photos, my husband stopped it. You deserve to have your space, you deserve to have a husband that respect your need for space and will stand up to his mother when it is violated. MIL isn’t going to change. Sit husband down and tell him you’re uncomfortable. If he respects you, he’ll listen to what you have to say.