I had to kick my girlfriend out of my house because she was scaring my brother.

A Reddit user shared that his girlfriend has been repeatedly scaring his blind brother by sneaking up behind him and shouting, thinking it would help his awareness. The user was furious when he found out and kicked her out of his house, but now she’s bombarding him with messages, claiming he overreacted. The user is unsure whether to let her back or set new boundaries. Read the original story below…

‘ I had to kick my girlfriend out of my house because she was scaring my brother.’

My girlfriend (23F) and I (24F) have been together for 2 years now, my familly allways loved her and she even had a good relationship with my brother (16M) as well. Last year my brother was diagnosed with a certain disease that almost took his life, my brother allways have had a low immune system, wich made everything even worse,

my brother are still recovering, but in a much bettet condition right now, but unfortunately he ended up losing his sight on both eyes, legally speaking he can be considerated blind right now. When social isolation started to happen because of the most recent events, I decided to speak with my parent’s about how it would be better if my brother lived with me by the time being.

My parent’s agreed happily, they both are essential workers and they wouldn’t have much time to stay with my brother, he is still getting used to his “new life” as a blind person, and still adapting on how to live with it, if he needed help with anything my parent’s wouldn’t be able to help,

and also because my brother already have a bad immune system and it wouldn’t be a good idea for him to live in a house with our parent’s who would constantly be dealing with patients who may or not be “sick”. I can work from home and I also have a lot of free time, so if he ever needed help I would be more than avaible to help him, so it was a win win situation.

I also invited my girlfriend to live with me, she have a very good house of her own but we could be together so why not, right?. Everything was good and fine, but recently I started to notice that my brother became to not be himself anymore, I mean, even with all of this happening with him he was allways cheerful and happy, and allways “trying to look at the good side in all of this”,

but recently he started to become more shy and introverted when my girlfriend was around, and I found that strange. Yesterday I was a my living room reading a book and my brother was at the kitchen drinking a cup of water, my girlfriend approached him sand just said good morning (she just got up almost 7:30AM) I noticed my brother get scared,

I thought that was just a isolated incident, she must have caught him by surprise so I didn’t pay much attention to it. But today I was hearing music while preparing our lunch and my brother was sitting on the kitchen talking with me, I noticed someone approaching and I saw that it was my girlfriend, when she noticed we where hearing music she started to walk slowly as if she didn’t want to make sound,

she bot behind my brother and quickly hold his shoulders and shouted “hello there, how you’re doing”. My brother said he wanted to stay alone and went to his room. I was pissed at her, I asked her what did she thought she was doing by scaring him that way,

she told me that she have read on the internet and also from her mother that scaring a blind person is a good thing because it makes them more aware of their surrounding. I started to connect the dots, and asked her for how long she have been scaring my brother like that, she told me around 2 weeks, up to 3 times a day if “possible” in her words.

I was seeing red at that moment, I asked her to never do that again. It didn’t take much, It was almost 4 PM today and I was watering my garden when I heard my brother shout, when I got back inside he was shouting to my girlfriend leave him alone. I ended up getting in a fight with her,

I tried every single thing that I could to show her that it wasn’t ok to do that to a blind person and she needed to stop or else she would have to come back to her house, she promised me to never do it again. Tonight I was making dinner and she did again… I didn’t know what to do anymore, we got into a huge fight and I ended up telling her to go back to her house,

she argued with me that I was being unfair and the is just trying to help, I still refused to let her stay, and she just went to her home. She have been bombarding my celphone the entire night about it was wrong for me to do that and I should have never kicked her out because something so trivial as that, I haven’t been answering and I don’t even know how to.

I feel like I shouldn’t have just kicked her out of my house, but I don’t feel like it would be a safe space for my brother if she just goes around scaring him, my brother told me he didn’t say anything to me before because he didn’t want cause problems as he was a guest.

I don’t think she would stop if she came back, she have a history of being a little bit stubborn sometimes but never something like this that would affect other pople. I don’t know how to respond to her, should I let her back at my house but setting some ground rules?

should I not allow her back until my brother are back to my parent’s house? otherwise than this she was allways a loving girlfriend and allways treated me and my familly with nothing but respect and love, I don’t know how to go on from this.

Update here: (UPDATE) I had to kick my girlfriend out of my house because she was scaring my brother.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

the_last_basselope −  Do you honestly want to be with someone who thinks it’s okay to emotionally traumatize a blind person, especially someone who is recently blind and already dealing with more than enough emotional trauma from that? Your girlfriend is cruel. Knowingly, deliberately, maliciously cruel. At the very least, never have her around your brother again or he’ll stop trusting you like he no longer trusts her.

tamponbiscuit1720 −  Both you and your brother have clearly let het know that what she’s doing is not okay. She makes you feel bad for even asking her to stop, lies and says she won’t donit again, then scares him the same day. This is clearly having a big effect of your brothers life.

He is vulnerable and is already having a hard time and now he feels the need to fight off someone who is bigger, older, and abled. She is being borderline abusive. My advice: break off any connection with her and keep protecting your brother from any harm.

ssnowangelz −  Your brother is already hurting inside. He’s in pain from newly becoming blind; it’s a VERY hard pill to swallow. It’s not something you get over within a year or two— he likely needs therapy. & like you said before, he’s *just* getting used to not seeing and is having trouble adjusting to your place.

That’s the *very* last thing he needs on his plate. She was deliberately cruel to him & crossed his personal boundaries. Your brother, *not* just you, made it perfectly clear to her that he didn’t like her scaring him, but she ignored his pleas.

If you want to permanently risk your relationship with your brother &/or his mental well-being, go back to her. Otherwise, tell her to kick rocks because that was straight up abusive. What would happen if you had a disabled child with her? She can’t even respect your little (minor) brother as a human being.

loujules17 −  She is abusing a disabled person for her own sick enjoyment and she is a liar. There is absolutely not a reputable article telling people to scare the blind.
Not only should you have kicked her out, you should d**p her stupid ass too! Why would you stay in a relationship with someone who treats anyone the way she is treating your brother?

Also don’t listen to anyone who tries to say she didn’t understand. She did understand, she just didn’t care. You told her three times it was not acceptable and even now that she is kicked out, she is still trying to say it was no big deal.. She is a twat!

MammothPapaya0 −  She acted cruelly and callously towards you brother and showed you her extreme n**ty side. You did the right thing. Text her that it’s over and that you’re blocking her. Then block her on all platforms.

sadcapricorn99 −  Someone’s true character is revealed in how they treat those who have less power than them. Your girlfriend has revealed herself to be the kind of person who gets off on traumatizing a disabled teenager. Leave her and please talk to your brother – he probably feels a lot of guilt for being the cause of your break up. Let him know you didn’t break up “for” him, but instead her treatment of him revealed her true character.

DoubleTroubleToo −  This is a very difficult and traumatic transition brother has experienced going blind and GF finding humor in scaring a blind person is sadistic. There could be no redeeming qualities in her that would offset her sadistic traits. Move on and let her experience the consequences of her actions. Maybe then she would seek counseling for her n**cissism.

annoyedpotatolady −  She was terrorising a blind person, promised to stop and didn’t. She wasn’t helping, she was making someone scared in a safe space. She shouldn’t be around your brother, or allowed back, or actually still be in a relationship with you. Abusing a blind person, come on.

Sweetragnarok −  Some one just posted on this same thread where a GF was constantly scaring him even though he said multiple times to stop. When He finally broke up with now ex-GF, her true colors came out and became meaner. Lets get a few things straight about your GF and your Bro based on what you said.

* She **does not own your house** nor lives there so she has no rights to claim its unfair for you to kick her out. * Your GF is **NOT A DOCTOR** and her knowledge from the internet is harmful to your brother. * Your brother is not a guest at your home **He is family**. One that you chose to protect and love from harms way. Your GF was being a j**k and your protected him.

* Your GF scarring your brother **Is NOT trivial**. Your brother is facing a life altering lifestyle that will affect him his whole life. Theres nothing trivial about that and how she treated him. * It doesnt matter how “loving” a person is or how long you have known each other, a person true colors both pros and cons shows when they are exposed to serious living situations.

In this case living with you and your bro, which somehow didnt go well with her. Not cool on her part. BTW with abuse or bullying behavior, theres a first time for everything. So this may be the first time you saw it.

* You said you dont think she would stop if you took her back. You know what hats called? **DISRESPECT**. Thats a major issue that can cause many problems down the line. Now decide if this is really what you want for a long term partner to be part of your family.

AwkwardDuck94 −  I became legally blind at 18, the transition was incredibly difficult and screwed up my mental state, thats without someone scaring me constantly. Im disgusted at your girlfriends actions.

The fact she continued doing it after she was asked to stop shows how little she cares about his well being. This would be deal breaker territory for me. Dont give a s**t if shes stubborn or not. Her scaring him will cause him to have anxiety/trust issues. It will not help him in any way

Should the user prioritize his brother’s comfort over his girlfriend’s intentions, or is there a way to balance both? How would you handle this situation if you were in his shoes? Share your thoughts and advice below.