I (29M) showed up to my gf’s (25F) house and found her hanging out with a guy from class at 2am.

A Reddit user shares his unsettling experience of finding his girlfriend hanging out alone with a male classmate at 2 AM after she ignored his messages for hours. Concerned for her safety, he stopped by her place, only to be met with a surprised reaction and a casual dismissal of his concerns.

When he expressed his discomfort, she refused to ask the guy to leave and brushed off the situation. Now, he’s questioning whether he’s overreacting or if these are serious red flags. Read the original story below…

 

‘ I (29M) showed up to my gf’s (25F) house and found her hanging out with a guy from class at 2am.’

I had plans to hang out with my gf after her class tonight around 9-10pm. So texted her something nice around that time to let her know i was thinking of her, and see when she would be done. No response. She texts me hii a couple hours later, I responded hey what’s up. At this point a little upset she had blown me off for hours past the time she said she would hit me up after class.

No response again. This time for the rest of the night. I was starting to get worried bc I know she leaves campus late and it can be sketchy in that area sometimes. I text her and call her a couple more times no response. At this point I’m definitely worried and text her I’m gonna stop by to make sure she’s all good, she’s a girl and lives alone and just 5 min from me.

So i swing by and all the lights are on, I walk up to the front door and knock. She comes out looking surprised. Steps outside, oddly. I say what’s up i was worried you weren’t ok I never heard back from you and you kinda bailed on our plans. She then says oh sorry I’ve been hanging with some friends from school.

So I ask is someone in there right now, and she tries to casually play off ya there is a guy from class over we’ve been hanging out talking about our class.. (Mind you, it’s 2am.) She then asks me to come in and if i want to meet him. I say yes. I come in and meet this guy who looks a bit startled. Introduce myself and then they start catching me up on what they were talking about.

My gf is acting pretty odd like super causal that the fact i just showed up at 130am after she’s been ignoring me and there’s a random guy I don’t know there… she’s acting like it’s no big deal. Within 20 min I decide I’m going home, and ask her to walk me out. I then ask her to make the guy leave bc there’s no reason to be there that late. She says no we were in the middle of a conversation…

I try explaining to her this isn’t cool with me and makes me uncomfortable and she doesn’t seem to care one bit. She just says, I’m not gonna argue with you another this while someone is right here, we can talk tomorrow. And then walks back inside.

I tried not to make a scene and be respectful of her house, while still letting her know it wasn’t cool. Am I crazy or are those serious red flags and am I being naive here? I have to talk to her tomorrow and Im not sure how to approach this.

Update here: [UPDATE] I (29M) showed up to my gf’s (25F) house and found her hanging out with a guy from class at 2am.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

[Reddit User] −  Am I crazy or are those serious red flags and am I being naive here? If you believe a word of what she told you then yes, you’re being incredibly f**king naive here.

Redd_81 −  I had plans to hang out with my gf after her class tonight around 9-10pm. So texted her something nice around that time to let her know i was thinking of her, and see when she would be done. “Hey, sorry I have to cancel our plans to meet up tonight.”

Nope, instead she blows you off which is extremely rude. And then you find out it was to hang out with another guy. RED FLAG. No response. Well ya, she was busy with this guy. She was either ignoring you, or she was REALLY pre-occupied with him (if you catch my drift, wink wink). She comes out looking surprised. Steps outside, oddly.

“Oh s**t my boyfriend is here, I should try to keep him out of the house.” She then says oh sorry I’ve been hanging with some friends from school. Where are all the friends? And again, why couldn’t she just let you know what her plans were and why she was cancelling meeting up with you?

So I ask is someone in there right now, and she tries to casually play off ya there is a guy from class over we’ve been hanging out talking about our class. “S**t, he’s not leaving, be cool and act like it’s no big deal.” I come in and meet this guy who looks a bit startled. His reaction tells you a lot. I’m guessing he doesn’t even know that she has a boyfriend.

My gf is acting pretty odd like super casual. You know her better than us, and if you think she is acting odd then there is a good reason. I try explaining to her this isn’t cool with me and makes me uncomfortable and she doesn’t seem to care one bit. So you expressed your concerns which was good, but she doesn’t even care and didn’t want to talk.

She wants to address this later because you put her on the spot and she wants time to come up with a story to give you. Maybe something along the lines of “He is gay, you have nothing to worry about.” Am I crazy or are those serious red flags and am I being naive here?

She blew you off to hang out with another guy (ALONE) and both of them were acting suspicious when you went to her house. Yes, they are red flags. She played it cool and we all talked. But you didn’t talk, you tried to talk and she blew you off again. Sorry man, I would say that if she hasn’t cheated on you yet, it sure looks like she is planning to.

0359724 −  You’re almost 30. You don’t see what was going on? Would you do this to her and would she be ok with it? I assume you guys are exclusive and monogamous and committed. If so this would be a dealbreaker for me. Seems very disrespectful. I know my woman would never behave like this. But she love and respects me, so I got that going for me. Which is nice. But you don’t. D**p her or live like a simp.

LLJKSiLk −  You should call and apologize today for interrupting their foreplay.

mcflurrynuggets −  🚩 Not cool bro. Not cool. Not at all. 🚩 Idk how it is with other people but even my friends and I barely hang out past 2:00 am. That’s sleeping time already. This is sketchy to me, bring it up again but be respectful. She’ll say what she feels for sure or you’d know how she feels about you being uncomfortable with it once she starts talking.

phoenyx3 −  Just wanna preface that I try to give neutral advice as I want things to work out between yall: I think all of that would be fine…..if she didn’t completely blow you off. That’s the red flag here. Y’all made plans, but she cancelled so she can hang out with some guy “from class”? And she seemed to ignore you most of the time.

It’s possible her communication skills aren’t the best, but I can’t say for sure. Either way, just talk to her and tell her how it made you feel. If she sympathizes with you, then great. If she gets defensive, then then opens up another conversation.

ITworksGuys −  Yeah, she fucked that guy after you left. Nothing good happens after midnight. You’re a doormat bro. You should have ended it right there and then. Not meekly walked away with your tail between your legs with another dude in your girlfriends house.

[Reddit User] −  She probably had his creampie in her already when you got there.

TashaS98 −  She’s cheating on you, or at least had the intention to.

NYCMusicMarathon −  Am I crazy or are those serious red flags. She forgot to tell you that now you are the side ~~chick~~ guy.