I [31M] found out my fiance cheated during her [30F] bachelorette party, planning on leaving
A Reddit user, 31 years old, recently discovered that his fiancée cheated during her bachelorette party. After snooping through her phone and messages, he found out that she not only engaged in sexual activity with a stripper but also went home with another man. The user is devastated, angry, and unsure of how to handle the situation. They are scheduled to get married in three weeks, and he is struggling with whether to confront her, leave, or hear her side of the story.
‘ I [31M] found out my fiance cheated during her [30F] bachelorette party, planning on leaving’
Dont know how to explain all of this, basically was snooping around last night when i saw her phone ticket off, it was a message from her friends about the party. I stayed up like one of those stalkers you seen on tv and been checking the computer, fb messages with her friends and found iut she cheated during her bachelorette party.
By cheating i dont mean getting a strip tease or something (which i would be ok with, i understand its a bachelorette party) but she actually gave a stripper a blowjob and ended up going home with ANOTHER guy that night. She has this other guy added on facebook but the chat merely consists of a “had a good time and it was nice to meet you convo, which dates back to the bachelorette party.
i have however read the messages between her and her friends, they have a small group, found out what shed done there. it all seems as if it was a one time thing that happened then but im a f**king mess. i havent slept all night and she is headed for work in an hour or so when she wakes up (its almost 6 am here).
I dont know what the f**k to do, we are supposedly getting married in 3 weeks. I am thinking of simple packing all my bags after she is going to work and just leaving the flat, its her familys flat anyway, we were planning on buying a f**king house, having kids, grow old. i feel i want to throw all of that out the window.
i am sitting here smelling like alcohol, feeling drunk and depressed. i dont know why but im more of a angry depressed than sad depressed, i havent criend since i found out about all of this.
should i confront her? should i just get out? should i hear her side of the story? honestly i want to just go and stomp her f**king face in right now but i dont wanna do something rational.. please help!
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Thadingo8 − It’s hard to see now, but you’ve been given a gift. You’ve dodged a very expensive and s**tty bullet. See the good in that, use that good to build your confidence back up and ultimately become a stronger better person.
lil_cholesterol − I can’t even imagine that dude. F**k. I probably would have just left the flat, never came back, and left a screenshot of the convo you saw on the counter before she sucked you back in with some sob story. Cheating is the only thing I can’t ever forgive.
broogbie − nothing will ever make you trust her again..leave her ..trust me
indarkwaters − Don’t have the “closure” talk. She cheated. Case closed. Please whatever you do, don’t talk to her. She will play at your heart strings and you will never, EVER, be able to trust her if you reconcile. You are perfect the way you are. That’s why she wanted to marry you. You have nothing to worry about. You deserve REAL love.
Weiner_Cat − You lucky b**tard. If I could have done it again, I would leave without saying much at all. Yes, leave, find a mutually respectful partner to marry.
Maybe leave a note saying, ‘Hope it was worth it.’
KindlyPresentation − i would just leave. have a closure talk later if you need to. and move on to a person that loves you and wont cheat on you. easy.
realquick21 − You gotta go man
Imabuttayobread − It is not like she is going to have some reason or response that he is going to be comfortable with. No matter what she says he will not be satisfied with the reason. I have been in a similar situation and I wish I had just left. It was terrible for me so I feel his pain.
SCG69 − It’s so difficult to find a good man who wants to get married, start a family, and be faithful. This woman threw away her life and future, as well as her fiance, over a couple of hours of l**t with a couple of strangers. She is a fool, with no concept of her actions or the consequences of her actions. Some of us can’t find a partner, no matter how long we try.
Yet this woman had everything and tossed it away like garbage. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You have every right to be angry and hurt. Her betrayal was coldhearted and cruel. I’m relieved for you that you found out before the wedding. Makes me nauseous to imagine her deceitfully declaring love,
loyalty, honesty and faithfulness in front of your family and friends, knowing full well she had already broken all those vows. Those friends of hers all in on the secret too… sickening. You are lucky you have the strength to just walk away from it all, instead of trying to forgive this appalling behaviour.
I wish you the very best, and i hope you recover from this mess, and i hope you find love with a wonderful honest woman who deserves you and your love.
missvinoxo − I think that you should confront her. But firstly ask how was the bachelorette party and if she did any crazy things like on the movies. If she doesn’t confess or get uncomfortable by that statement (which she should with the guilty conscious) then bring up what you saw.
She will get upset because you went through her messages, however you deserve to know the truth. The discussion may become heated but stick to your guns. If she’s upset and yelling, try to remain calm to keep control of the situation. Afterwards, take time to assess everything the good times in the relationship and the bad. Before you make an ultimate decision.
What would you do in this situation? Should the user confront his fiancée and hear her side of the story, or is it time to move on? How can he process his emotions and make the best decision for his future? Share your thoughts and advice below.