Family left me (18M) when they thought I wasn’t my dad’s son but now they want to get back in touch
A Reddit user discovered that a DNA test falsely indicated he wasn’t his father’s biological son, leading his dad and siblings to cut him off. After years of isolation and mistreatment, a second test confirmed he was his father’s child all along. Now, his estranged family wants to reconnect, but he wants nothing to do with them. With pressure from relatives to forgive, he questions whether his refusal is unreasonable. Read the original story below…
‘ Family left me (18M) when they thought I wasn’t my dad’s son but now they want to get back in touch’
4 years ago, dad found out my mom had a life long affair (more than one, but that’s another story). He knew about a couple of affairs she had in the past and forgave her, hanging in there for the kids, moving on, yada yada. But that time (4 years ago), he found out me and my two siblings might not be his kids, considering time of affair.
This was the first time we all heard of mom’s, well, everything really. There was a whole DNA thing and it turned out my siblings were my dad’s, and I was not. Cool right. So dad leaves mom, divorces her, moves out, takes both my siblings with him. Not me tho
I stay behind with mom, who hits a new low finding herself alone, and we both become pretty much outcasts as far as most of the family is concerned. My older brother was particularly mean to me. We were really tight before, and the s**t he did to me, I swear, had I been bigger at the time, I would have punched him hard, more than once.
I don’t wanna get into details because I can’t since I could be recognized, but stuff happened and I got DNA again and as it turns the f**k out, DNA #1 was messed up and and I am my dad’s kid. Now, I don’t need legal advice on this. Grandpa is the man, always had my back, we got a lawyer and are looking to settle. But dad wants back in my life.
Brother is calling and wanting to meet up and talk s**t.. I don’t f**king want to. I want these people out of my life. Mom already forgave everyone, she is going on a “date” with my dad and I feel sick, but not my business right. I wish them both good f**king luck, but I want none of it. Only nobody leaves me be.
I keep hearing that they’re family, and I ought to hear them out and give them a chance or I’ll regret it later, and that the only reason I wont talk to them is cause I’m a teen and stupid or some other s**tty explanation. So, give me some perspective here, please. Do I sound unreasonable when I say, thanks, but f**k no, thanks?
Update here: [Update] Family left me (18M) when they thought I wasn’t my dad’s son but now they want to get back in touch
See what others had to share with OP:
therespectablejc − ” I don’t f**king want to “. So don’t. You are under no obligation to anyone. If you want to be no part or a distant part of their lives, that’s your choice.. .
cchirider − I keep hearing that they’re family, and I ought to hear them out and give them a chance or I’ll regret it later, Too bad they didn’t give YOU the same consideration when they kicked you to the curb.
ther3ddler − Put them on blast. They abandoned you. Your brother doesn’t get a second chance because he only saw you as a brother if “blood” was involved (f**king b**lshit). Your dad is even worse and extremely childish. Privatize social media, stay strong and focus on the people that are important to you. (grandpa, friends etc)
Edit: for OP I want to clarify, put the rest of your family on blast if anyone is upset you’re not in contact. Tell people your story, they won’t be so eager to get you guys to talk if they know what really happened since it’s likely your dad/brother only told their side
phobos55 − You’re 18. If your mom is pushing this s**t too, start saving up. Get your own place. No one needs to know the address. A new phone number is pretty easy to get too.
paloumbo − Tell them DNA doesn’t make a family. That maybe you share some DNA with your father, but he shown he wasn’t your father for year ago, and same about your brother. If your brother doesn’t get it, remembers him what he told to you. If your father doesn’t get it, ask Jim why he didn’t called you those last years for your birthday.
Spoonbills − “I don’t f**king want to. I want these people out of my life” is a perfectly reasonable, understandable, rational perspective. You can also change your mind later. Your feelings are valid and deserve respect, whatever they are.
fairyplutosister − My gosh… dude… what a story, I am so sorry you went through this. I completely understand your way of thinking, and unfortunately I don’t have the right advice besides, do what feels good to YOU. If you feel like it, tell them what the way they treated you did to you. Be very honest. Imo they are all shitheads, even if you weren’t your father’s, that doesn’t erase all the years he raised you. Who the f**k reacts like that.
HayZeusRios − Nah man. Cut cancer and toxicity out of your life, if you can.
ImmunocompromisedAle − My bio-dad shook my hand when I was 7 and that was the last I saw of him. When I was 28 he was dying and reached out.. I said No. I have absolutely no regrets. Neither should you.
[Reddit User] − These people treated a 14 year old child like this?! Stay the hell away from them. When the chips are down, when life gets hard – THAT is when we see people for who they are
Forgiveness is a personal choice, not an obligation. Can broken family ties truly be repaired after such deep betrayal? Would you give them another chance or walk away? Share your thoughts.