[UPDATE] My (21f) boyfriend’s friend (both 22M) tried to spike my drink.

A Reddit user followed the advice of many and reported the attempted drink spiking to the police. While they took her statement, they said they couldn’t take immediate action without more proof. They suggested she try to get incriminating messages from the friend, but she’s unsure if she can go through with it.

Meanwhile, the friend has reached out to her and her boyfriend, seemingly unaware of what she saw. Now, she’s left emotionally drained, uncertain of her next steps, and dreading the confrontation that may come. Read the original story below…

‘ [UPDATE] My (21f) boyfriend’s friend (both 22M) tried to spike my drink.’

This OP: My (21f) boyfriend’s friend (both 22M) tried to spike my drink.

After reading everyone’s advice and telling my boyfriend, we went to the police station. We spent most of the night there. I told them about what I saw and that he wouldn’t let me go easily when I wanted to leave. They asked me lots of questions: if I am sure, what the glass looked like, what the pill looked like, how drunk I was, how drunk he was, if I had ever liked him etc.

It was very uncomfortable but they had to get all the information. The police suggested that they take my report to have a file ready but said they can’t arrest him or go to his place or check anything as it’s too late. They did say it would be a good idea to try to message him and get information from him that would be proof of what he did, screenshots and all.

I am not sure if I can do that, he has sent me a message asking how I was that I showed my boyfriend but I haven’t answered him yet. I am guessing he’s going to start thinking something is up since he has texted my bf who hasn’t answered him either.

After coming back from the police, we just decided to get some rest and talk about this today. We haven’t yet, we were both exhausted and there was a lot of crying on my part. So that’s it for now. I don’t want to have to talk to him or face him but I will have to anyway. This is all just so confusing, but thank you all for your support and advice.

Update here: [UPDATE 2]: My (21f) boyfriend’s friend (both 22M) tried to spike my drink.

Check out how the community responded:

[Reddit User] −  we went to the police station. Good. Now you’ve started a paper trail. Even if nothing comes of it for you, they’re ready when he does it to the next girl 🙁

[Reddit User] −  I hope this doesn’t sound condescending, but I am very very proud of you for going to the police. That must have not been easy, especially with the questioning – why would it matter if you had ever liked him, ugh! It sounds like your BF is doing a good job of being supportive. Best of luck to you, and stay safe!

Violetta311 −  So proud of you I know that was hard! If another woman reports him her case will be so much stronger.

NYCQuilts −  OP, THANK YOU for going to the police. I’m sure it was triggering and awful. But that ex-friend is a predator. He had a d**g and a method to use to incapacitate and rape you.

You say that your BF’s friend circle is mostly guys, but he should think back over the years to whether there were women in their friend group who ghosted or who they gradually lost touch with. There may have been signs he missed at the time.

namenumberdate −  I don’t know your exact situation, but as someone that read your story, I suspect at this point, that guy knows the jig is up, so I doubt he’ll ever give you any type of confession via text.

Police said it would be hard to prove unless you supplied a text, but do you really want to put yourself through more undue stress? Collect yourself today and calm down, but no matter what, you have to approach him about what he did and then sever ties.. I’m sorry that happened to you.

LovinAffection −  He does probably suspect something is up if you havent both replied. I think your best course action would be to finally reply but with something like
“name, the night we hung out and you went to get a shot for me, I clearly saw you drop a pill into it on my way to the bathroom. It freaked me and I knew I wouldn’t drink it so I dropped it and tried leave.

I knew something was up because of how pushy and aggressive you became in trying to get me to stay. You made me afraid for my safety and nothing you did was acceptable. It is highly illegal to d**g someone and I will never hang out with you again.”

You could also mention you’ve told your bf of the situation. Say nothing of police and if he admits to it via text in any way take it back to the police. If he’s smart though he’ll just deny, call you crazy yada yada yada for typical manipulating b**lshit. If neither of you can cut him from your life then you should always have a watchful eye forever more.

bananaramahammer −  I’m pretty sure he guessed something would be up the minute you ran out of his place in t**ror. I find it odd that the police don’t think you’ve given them enough evidence for them to begin an investigation on this guy. I’d say instead of putting yourself in that creep’s path, go to a criminal lawyer and get some advice.

CrimsonReign07 −  Just a possibility, someone can correct me if this seems like a bad idea, but maybe your boyfriend can message him through your phone pretending to be you. If the cops say you can try to get screenshots then I don’t think it matters if he’s the one talking.

If I was in his shoes I personally (this doesn’t mean he should feel the same I do) would be fine with doing that to save you from it and to get evidence. Mind you that sounds dangerously like entrapment but I know nothing about law so if the cops said go for it, then go for it.

ShockingFirstBullet −  Glad your boyfriend didnt a**ault him, very wise on your guys part. From a strategic standpoint, and I’m only suggesting this because it sounded like it was the cops’ idea, dont message him telling that you contacted the cops.

I would say something like “hey. I get you like me, but what you did wasnt cool, preventing me from leaving like that. And by the way I saw you put something in my glass clearly from the bathroom doorway. Why did you do that?” Might get him to open up a bit more

justcallmeabrokenpal −  #He(the _friend_ that wanted to rape you) is **NOT** a good person, don’t feel any pity or remorse for filing a case against him. Don’t let him repeat like what a [rapist redditor did with the women in university]

She took the brave step of reporting him, but now she faces an agonizing dilemma. Should she try to gather more evidence, or is staying away the best option? What would you do in her situation? Share your thoughts.