Update: I (F24) am slowly falling in love with my flatmate (M22)

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A Reddit user finally confessed her feelings to her flatmate after months of keeping them secret, only to learn that he doesn’t feel the same way. While the rejection stung, she’s grateful for his honesty and reassured that their friendship remains intact. Though she’s still processing her emotions, she feels relieved knowing where she stands and is hopeful they can continue their close bond. Read the original story below…

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‘ Update: I (F24) am slowly falling in love with my flatmate (M22)’

This OP: I (F24) am slowly falling in love with my flatmate (M22)

So… Something big happened. Yesterday, we talked a lot about all kinds of stuff (only the two of us) and what was on our minds recently because of all the craziness going on in the world right now. During this conversation, he asked me if anything is up because I seemed to be a little bit down lately.

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At first, I didn’t want to say anything, but he looked so puzzled and geniuenly interested, so… I confessed that I developed a crush on him. He was baffled and told me he never would have guessed that. I went red in the face as I told him some details (How long this has been going on, how strong my crush is, etc.) He was really flustered and couldn’t say anything at first.

I also told him that I don’t want anything to change to the worse and that’s why I kept it a secret for so long, but that I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. He then told me that he’s not into me, but that he really likes me as a person. He likes having me around and said that my personality is something rare in today’s world.

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He doesn’t want anything to change either and we agreed that our relationship as friends won’t change. It is something that I have to deal with but he will support me in any way possible. I hope we can both stay true to these words. Honestly, I feel relieved that this burden is finally off my chest and that he was so honest with me.

It’s better than him lying to me or something. I, of course, cried that night as I went to sleep because he rejected me, but he at least acknowledged my feelings which I’m so grateful for. I think I can deal with this a lot better now.

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My feelings for him haven’t changed, but I know where I stand with him and that he at least likes me as a very good friend. Friendzone can suck, but I have the feeling that we can get along better from this point on. I know this is not an Update most of you hoped for, but it is not a negative one at least!

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

[Reddit User] −  Very mature on both sides. Good on you!

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[Reddit User] −  Just know that if your friendship does end up changing, that is OKAY! If you need to pull back, either temporarily or longterm… that is just fine and might be very healthy

deepayes −  Don’t think of it as him rejecting you, but accepting you as you already are; his very good friend. He was honest and treated you kindly. Though not the outcome you wanted, it was still very wholesome.

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Sinister_Advil −  Best wishes good job putting yourself out there

SourWeird −  This is so random and weird but I fell in love with my flatmate ten years ago and never told him. I was in a relationship with his best friend (which didn’t last). Ultimately it drove a wedge in between our friendship and eventually I moved out and we stopped speaking.

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I was playing board games online with old friends last week. He popped into the game and suddenly all the feelings rushed back. I called him after the game and told him how I felt and how long I held back my love for him. I didn’t expect anything except r**ection BUT HE FELT THE SAME WAY!

We’re long distance dating now. Life is weird. Be proud of yourself for being brave enough to say how you feel. I waited a long and boring ten years to tell him how I felt and I should have done it a hell of a lot quicker. I was afraid of r**ection so much that I didn’t reach out for what I wanted.

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LiahRain −  I’m glad it ended well! I’ve been in your shoes and it can hurt a bit but you did the right thing. Stay safe out there 💜

seharadessert −  He let you down so kindly and gently I can see why you like him so much 🥺it looks to me like you guys will be ok – and hey! you got this off your chest 🙂 & now you can watch funny rom coms and play games and do your hobbies and focus on yourself 💕

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kimoalex42 −  That guy is a man of priciples & not opportunistic.. very nice! Sry that the things didn’t workout very well, but it didn’t end in disaster! That’s a huge plus. Good luck

VilgefortztheCynic −  Don’t let this single r**ection change your mind about being open with your feelings. That was a brilliant thing you did, to open up to another and honestly is something we can all aspire to. The world needs more of that. Good luck with life!

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Lucavii −  Not to give you false hope but it took over a year from the first time I revealed my feelings to my best friend to the time she finally came around to having mutual feelings. Be his friend, you never know where life will take you.

Honest conversations can bring both relief and heartache. Do you think their friendship will truly stay the same, or will time and unspoken emotions change things? Share your thoughts below!

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